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Brickyard 400 Pre-Twittered: The Europa League Of NASCAR


LA Galaxy 0      ManU(re) 7   While Matt Kenseth and Danica Patrick were not even imaging that they would merely qualify 13th and 14th respectively for today’s Brickyard 400, ManU(re) were obvious attempting, with some success, to achieve the highest stage of manliness imaginable in front of 86,432 fans at The Rose Bowl…

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Søren Kierkegaard’s Football Bible

jose mourinho

Chelsea 1      Atlético Madrid 3   “The more one suffers, the more, I believe, one has a sense for the comic”   After Chelsea parked two buses in the back of Liverpool’s net this past weekend, Jose Mourinho came in for a bit of criticism regarding his defensive football philosophy that toppled Liverpool…

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Formula 2

Plan B Ryan Giggs

Chelsea 1     Sunderland 2   The only way I can grasp and comprehend the aforementioned scoreline is this: If Plan A doesn’t work, you go to Plan B. If Plan B doesn’t work, try Formula 2. I mean, really now, what the FOCK anyway?!! It was freaking SUNDERLAND one time there now!! SUNDERLAND!!…

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5 Essential Things You NEED To Know About (*redacted*), But Can Live Without


Picture Not (*redacted*)   It seems like to me, and possibly (*redacted*) that I’ve bit off more than I can chew. You might think otherwise, after all, it’s ONLY 5 things, yes? Or, you might be thankful for my certain fate, yes, thrilled even that I won’t (might not) go into 5 long diatribes about…

AnimeBeerDull Tedious ShiteI Hate MusicThe Sporting Life

Victorian Romance Chelsea

Crystal Palace 1    Chelsea 0   The real Crystal Palace that was the pride of Victorian London burned to the ground ((despite, ironically being made of glass and steel)) in 1936. Originally built in 1851 in Hyde Park for the Great Exhibition. After the Exibition, it was dismantled and rebuilt in the far south…

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Chelsea 42 Arsenal 0

Chelsea  6     Arsenal 0   Chelsea had Arsenal pretty much finished off by the 7th minute of the match. By the time the Red Card Fiasco at minute 17 rolled around, and Eden Hazard slotted the penalty kick for a 3-0 lead, the game was done and dusted. And not satisfied with a mere 3…

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F1 vs. NASCAR, part 1 Version 2.0.23

This, again….   Where do I start. First there’s Eddie Gossage, the aforementioned President of the Texas Motor Speedway, barking out of his ass about Formula 1. Then, there’s Tony Stewart’s partner in Insanity, Gene Haas, who’s fixin’ to club his way ((pun somewhat, but not really, intended)) into Formula 1 with a brave new…

AnimeBeerDull Tedious ShiteNASCARThe Sporting Life

Ponies In Jumpers

chelsea vs man city

Man City 2      Chelsea 0   The little horses ((also commonly known as Ponies)) trotted (pun intended) up to The Etihad today to take on the big horses ((Manchester City FC, for those you keeping score at THE FIREHOUSE, my favourite emotional cul-de-sac here in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin USA)). Now I might (have)…

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With A Cigaret in One Hand….A Martini In The Other

Sheffield United 1      Fulham 1   I had this title all ready to go for this one. It would have been absolutely perfect. I was fully expecting Dimitar Berbatov to lead the Fulham on an existential stroll through Bramall Lane and topple the Blades out of the FA Cup. Instead, Fulham gaffer Rene…

AnimeBeerDull Tedious ShiteI Hate MusicNASCARThe Sporting Life

Bloody HELL!!!

No, I am the King of European Hell!!!   It’s tempting,especially for soccer fans, to feel that Sepp Blatter or Michel Platini is the King of European Hell ((and on some level, Blatter could perhaps be considered the King of ALL Hells)). But the honest truth at the end of the day is that Bernie…

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2013 Tawdry Remnants and Uninspired Marginalia

  New Year’s Resolution: Make MY Blog as popular as Jesus’ blog   Jesus and Buddha decide to go on vacation together. They argue about where they should go. Buddha wants a place with a rice supply. Jesus wants a place with a good internet connection. They consider going to Spain, but Buddha doesn’t think…

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Nill, Love, Nothing

Sunderland 0     Norwich City 0 Arsenal 0      Chelsea 0   The word zero will not appear in this little column, except for once. And since I would hate to be accused of re-writing one of my previous columns as Rick Reilly has been accused doing (allegedly) with his old SI columns over at…

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Grasping At Grace

Chelsea 2      Crystal Palace 1   It was to be the return of The Special One. All the Blues Fans worldwide applauded the return of Jose Mourinho at last! It was going to be so simple from that point on. All the pieces of the puzzle that were floundering under AVB and RDM and The…

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The Cowards

noel coward

Basel 1      Chelsea 0   I can name all the cowards for you right now. ((And you will note that the late great Nöel Coward is not on that list and never will be.)) The cowards are: Petr Čech, Gary Cahill, John Terry, Branislav Ivanović, César Azpilicueta, John Obi Mikel, Frank Lampard, Willian,…