Whose Shake Is This!!?

Escape From Norwich City

Norwich City 1     Chelsea 1

Chelsea left the hippy bus behind yesterday (as I began typing this)….but if you go looking for it in the parking lot hard by Carrow Road, you will find that it has vanished as surely as Chelsea’s hopes of claiming the Premier League title have vanished. Chelsea had to leave town in a hurry you see, and a hippy bus just would not do. They had things to do and places to go, as the unimaginative ones would say. Urgent business….but not the sort that involves a  trip to the loo or the men’s crapper….they took care of THAT business yesterday at Carrow Road. In other words, they weren’t toilet-bound.

As I’ve mentioned, when Chelsea and Norwich play each other this season, I’m rooting for the home team, purists be damned. My Canaries played a great match and they stopped Chelsea dead in the water. Zak Whitbread and Daniel Ayala were lock-down corners in the NFL. They shutdown Chelsea’s attack, and goalie John Ruddy kept a clean sheet….Norwich’s first of the season. Norwich didn’t park the bus like they did the last time they played Chelsea, they did start Pilkington in the mid-field instead of Hoolihan….Pilk gives the Canaries a more defensive presence in the mid-field, but he’s no slouch going forward. They started both Morison and Holt up front…and they had some chances to score…but Cech stepped up and snuffed them out.

But the takeaway from this match are the obvious shortcomings of Chelsea, which were laid bare even more clearly to me since I was watching them as an outsider and an adversary and not a fan. Bosingwa played like a donkey. Meireles is uncreative…and I was wondering why Essien didn’t get the start ((yes, I know he’s coming off injury and wont play a full 90, but he could have sparked Chelsea to an early lead had he been in there….and as a Canaries fan, I’m glad he started on the bench)). Ashley Cole is a shadow of his former self ((ditto the other old men)). Daniel Sturridge was nearly invisible. Ramires has energy but no real sense of direction for it. Luiz would be better playing on the wing instead of at the back. Torres played well enough to get Chelsea the win, but he was all alone out there as was Juan Mata….everything they tried to do was pretty much stuffed by Whitbread, Ayala and Ruddy. They can’t do it alone.

Anyway, it’s back business as usual for me. I can be True Blue again now and hope that both Norwich and Chelsea get all 3 points from here on out. But a cynical side of me might consider that Norwich has a better shot at that then Chelsea based upon the style and spirit of their respective play.Then again, a lot of the true Blue fans on the ChelseDAFT blog feel the same.

As for Chelsea, as we’ve known all along, there is work to be done. We’ll get to that in a moment. It’s time now for NASCAR’s cameo appearance. It’s Silly Season after all….and unlike the days of yore, Silly Season now starts when the checkered flag drops at Homestead and continues well past the start of Speedweeks. Danica Patrick will finally and at last save NASCAR, but rumour has it that….well, okay, I’ll just start a rumour…..AVB in pursuit of a sleeker, faster, rebuild of Chelsea is putting in a £25m offer to JR Motorsports for Danica Patrick .

“Ela é rápida, sim?”

“She’s not for sale, Dude.”

“Que?”

“Ela não é para venda….Dude.”

“Lançarei Bosingwa no acordo….”

“LOL…WTF??”

And so on. It’s Silly Season. The Premier League transfer window is wide open and the rumours and offers are flying fast and furious. Danny Welbeck to Real Madrid….Gareth Bale to anyone willing to fork over 150 million quid. But enough of this soccer bullshit for awhile. 34 crew chief and personnel changes have been made across NASCAR’s 3 divisions, plus all sorts of driver and team changes, with more to come. Dave Ragan is w/o a ride as I type this. And Matt Kenseth is nowhere near fully sponsored. It 34 days, 22 hours, 11 minutes and 44 seconds to the start of the Daytona 500 as I hammer this out on my trusty Adler J-5 with no end of Silly Season in sight.

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Chelsea 1     Sunderland 0

As I watched today’s match on the 19″ LG monitor on my homemade LSD simulator, it became increasingly obvious to me that our lads most likely arrived at Stamford Bridge for today’s match with Sunderland in a Hippy Bus….not quite like the Merry Pranksters of old….but more like some Greatful Dead Tribute Band Camp Followers. There was an almost psychedelic precision and purpose to their play interspersed with blips of psychedelic imprecision ((Wow….DUDE, that was Nicklas Bendtner, man….where’d he come from, man…WOOOAAAAAHHH)).

In fact, their run of play gave ME a contact high. I thought to myself, DAMN!! Let’s crank up some Pink Fairies while I watch this. Let’s run outside naked and play some Frisbee…some Ultimate Frisbee….or….yeh dude….let’s play hacky-sack or some similar non-competitive hippy-sport. Let’s play Famous Initials, or Charades, at 3:24AM at the Dairy Dip in Appleton Wisconsin circa 1977. WHOSE SHAKE IS THIS???

Hey Fernando!! Oh…sorry dude….I thought you were PEAKING!!!!

But somehow, our Psychedelic Warriors in Blue prevailed. And the man with the opposible thumb served the Roast Jello, instead of the Chelsea Prawn Sandwiches.

AVB’s New Look!!

AVB got a facking SHAVE!! His grill was facking TIGHT, man!! If he keeps his grill tight from now, we will win every game!! Pop a David Luiz wig on the man and we’ll all be fockin’ TRIPPIN’ man!!

“Hey….Sir Alex….see this Jar of BEES????!!  They’re buzzin’ like the the LS Bumblebee, man…..”

AVB with a tight grill!! That’s the ticket!! We beat Sunderland with a SHAVE!! A CLOSE shave!!

Yaba DAH!! Whooahh DUDE, was that Nicklas Bendtner again??? Scare-EEEEEEE!!!

Norwich City here we come!!

6 days and 6 hours and change from now as type this on my homegrown LSD simulator, Chelsea and Norwich City will have a go at Carrow Road. And true to my school, I’ll be diving off the bus in aura bliss and switching my blue Chelsea shirt for Norwich’s green and gold. My two favourite teams play in the same league now…so as I stated before in some kind of stupor of truth…at Carrow Road I root for Norwich to win. So may, in 6 days and 6 hours and change, Grant Holt and Steve Morison and company rub Colman’s Mustard and all other kinds of evil things in John Terry’s and Juan Mata’s and Michael Essien’s jockstraps.

May Grant Holt say, “See this jar of bees??? I’m gonna smash it your face…and it will sting and sting.”

But that’s days and hours from now, man. So dude, man…be mellow ’til then. And remember, man….today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Norway House, Milwaukee WI, 01.07.12

There is a certain part of me would much prefer to be writing about Pablo Neruda, or Federico Garcia Lorca, or the death of Che Guevara in Bolivia in 1967.  The incessant fluttering of migratory birds fills my ears to bursting, and my brain to trembling, and my heart with a searing wanderlust. A Winter wished for. A Winter in hiding, a winter that migrated with the birds. The winter’s white has vanished like stars that have escaped my trembling fingers. No wonder there is a certain part of me that wants to grasp and clutch at little divergent threads as if to weave them into a hopeful warmth, a warmth that hopes for cold silent nights where the moonlight shuffles over the crisp snow.

But for this descending series of moments, I’ll let the ghosts of those migratory birds dream of Salvador Allende and  theories of José Martí and Pedro Albizu Campos. I’ll let those ghosts read poetry to the lonely while I stand vigil, waiting on a winter that will never arrive in the manner that we’d wish for.

Instead, I will let the only true souls left in this crestfallen world take center stage.

Before they do, a few facts that won’t get in the way of the truth.

The Dairyland BJD Winter Meetup 2012 was held at the Norway House in Milwaukee WI. There was a record attendance, that totally smashed last year’s record. We had 110 attendees, which is over 11% of our membership.  As always,  for those of you keeping score on Dairyland BJD, Fat Nakago is the Whose Shake Is This equivalent of LOL FangSensei.

So now, let us lay our weary heads to rest on the laps the only true souls left this world, our dolls:

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Manchester City 2     Manchester United 3

At the 59 minute mark of today’s FA Cup Manchester derby, Brett Favre came out of retirement and strode onto the pitch. At least, on this day, at this time, he had the dignity (allegedly) of returning to play for his original team. At least he didn’t trot out gleefully wearing the colours of his noisy neighbors. Have to grant him that, yes?

Oh, did I say Brett Favre? Ah…..I must have had him on my mind since last night when the camera cut to a laughing Brett Favre at the Superdome as he was watching New Orleans beat the Detroit Lions 45-28, no doubt laughing at the thought that whoever won last night would hopefully (in his mind) topple the Green Bay Packers.

My apologies. I meant to say Paul Scholes. Yes. Paul Scholes came out of retirement at the 59th minute mark of today’s Manchester derby. I honestly had thought his coming out of retirement was just a rumour from the same sort of enflamed pundits who tossed the Frank Lampard to ManU transfer rumour up the flagpole. But no, after the tearful retirement and  tribute game in his honour, Scholes, like Favre, came back to play once more. ((Of course, in Favre’s case, there was no tribute in his honour since he snubbed the opportunity)).

I suppose it would be nice to say that Scholes came on and scored the winning goal for his old team, but that was not the case. Referee Chris Foy took care of the outcome early on when he sent Vincent Kompany off at the 12th minute for what Foy thought, erroneously, was a two-footed studs up tackle of Nani….but replay showed that Kompany got the ball clean with one-foot (the second foot being inadvertent because he was sliding) and that he never even touched Nani, who to his credit did NOT flop to the ground. So with their skipper dismissed, City was on their back foot and United took a 0-3 lead into halftime. City was not to be denied a chance however. They came out of the break with tenacity and clawed the game back to 2-3 on shorthanded goals by Kolorov (off a free kick—it was a sweet goal—a perfect kick)) and Sergio-kun who tipped in a scrappy rebound from his first attempt that Lindegaard blocked.

I can’t really say that it was out of a sense of desperation that the game was getting away from United in the 2nd half that prompted Ferguson to bring on The Ol’ Gunslinger. I WILL however say that it was desperation that led Sir Alex to talk Scholes out of retirement (or vice versa) and back on the team. United is in a heated championship battle with their noisy neighbors; they have a raft of injuries—Vidic, their most important player is gone for the season; and they been on a bad run of form that his seen his lads lose 2 in row to such luminaries as Newcastle and Blackburn. Except for 5-0 drubbings of Fulham and Wigan, even their wins this season have been unimpressive.

So the Ol’ Gunslinger is back for more. I hope this doesn’t give Brent any bright ideas. But it would be funny to see him in a Man U shirt though slinging it around ((maybe Phil Jones, the new face of ManU would give up his #4 shirt)). He’d be like a kid out there. Quite literally.

Quite.

“I hope yer good and satisfied, Mr. Kyle Busch….”

It’s the end of the year when the amateurs come out to drink like the pros. And of course, we all know THAT’S going to end badly. So why bother. Just because it’s the end of the year? Big deal. It was the end of the 5 o’clock hour at 5:59 a few days and ago and few days before that and both found me at one brewpub or another with a GRUMPY TROLL North Star Dark or an ONION BREWPUB Hopslayer Double IPA or something similar. So what the fock’s the big ass deal.

Any, before I get the call from Ron Hornaday, who’s over at Kyle Busch’s house kicking his ass once again, I’d better get to The Top 9 List before he comes over here and kicks MY ass. So here we go.

This list has a certain incompleteness about it my mind, since I’ve slacked off a bit on my anime viewing lately. But I HAVE gotten back at it, and 2 of the the top 9 shows are from the Fall Season. So before Mr. Hornaday knocks on my door to kick my ass, here’s the list, without which the end of the year would naught be complete:

The Ron Hornaday Top Anime Shows of 2011

1. Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica
2. Nichijou
3. Ano Hana
4. Iko Meiro No Croisée
5. Hanasoko Iroha
6. Hyouge Mono
7. Kimi to Boku
8. Gundam AGE
9. Gosick

There you have it. The Top 9 Anime Shows of 2011. One notable absence from the list is Mawaru Penguindrum which would probably be tied for 5th or 4th if I had watched enough episodes. No thin-slicing for me. But that being said, y’all better park yourself in front of the computer and watch these before Ron Hornaday comes to your house to kick YOUR ass bearing the head of Kyle Busch on a stick.

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“Hey Whitey!! Where’s yo’ hat!!??

I’m not one to shy away from controversy. And on Christmas as I begin writing this, I think it’s all to more vital to embrace a bit of controversy. Jesus didn’t shy away from controversy, so why should I. If wasn’t obvious, the controversy I’m wading into in is the racism controversy….and specifically I will deal with the recent 8 game suspension of Liverpool striker Luis Suarez for the use of racist language on the pitch, and the recent criminal charges brought against Chelsea defender John Terry for alleged racist remarks on the pitch.

I’ve written about racism in this bloog, most recently about the racist taunts hurled on the English team when they visited Bulgaria. Racism among fans is an enormous problem in parts of Europe (and elsewhere as well) where economic marginalization and the resultant lack of opportunity combine with unfamiliarity, xenophobia, idiocy & fucktardary. But that’s still no excuse, of course. That crap has got to end. Somehow and someway.

But I’m not exactly sure if what England is doing about it, recently, is going to advance the cause of ending racism either. Prosecuting John Terry for something he (allegedly) said in the heat of the moment on the field of play? How does THAT advance the cause exactly? John Terry is accused of calling QPR defender Anton Ferdinand a fucking black cunt. There is a video that seems to show John Terry mouthing the words fucking black cunt. But is that really what went down that day ((October 23rd, 2011 at Loftus Road…and yes, John Terry is white and Anton Ferdinand is black for those of you keeping score in Spring Green, Wisconsin))? And if that was what was said, then why didn’t Anton Ferdinand punch (or bitch-slap) that motherfucking white cunt John Terry in the mouth instead of whining about it later? It should have been GO time….fists should have flown…settle it on the field of play. There is no reason, at least from my American perspective, that this should have spilled over into the court system. Lots of shit is said on the field of play, and for the most part, that’s where a most of that trash-talking bullshit should stay.

A few things disturb me about this about this little John Terry matter.

1. As I mentioned above, the alleged offense occurred on the pitch during a match in the heat of the battle. If there was any actual harm done, then it should have been handled by the League. Or by the ref. Yellow or Red Card for Unsporting behavior. Chris Foy was at the helm that day, and since he’d already shown red to Drogba and Bosingwa, what’s one more red card. This is what done in pretty much every other sport I know about ((except, obviously, in England)) unless there is actual physical violence involved, and even then there has to be egregious violence…the NHL cases of Todd Bertuzzi and Marty McSorley comes to mind. I’m not certain how or why John Terry’s alleged rhetoric is construed to be a Racially Motivated Public Order Offense, but the Crown Prosecutor for London (the equivalent of yer local District Attorney here in the States) seems compelled to file criminal charges.
2. John Terry is being prosecuted for a the alleged of a word. The fervour with which is prosecution is going forward, you’d think John Terry used the word nigger, which would be utterly unacceptable….and being used here by me for review purposes only since I wont pull punches or pretty things up. But that’s not the not word he’s being prosecuted for. He’s being sent up for using the word black, as an adjective. This seems to imply that if John Terry had (allegedly) called Anton Ferdinand a fucking cunt, instead of a fucking black cunt, he would off the hook and all would be perfectly swell in merry old England. But therein lies the problem. It seems to be okay in England to call someone a cunt. A word which is derogatory and demeaning  and abusive to women. Prejudice and discrimination toward any group is wrong and should be opposed, but evidently, under English law, Women are left out of the equation. And there is something wrong with the maths here when Racism is not okay but Sexism is. And yes, before you throw it my face, those two fucktards Richard Keys and Andy Grey were thrown off the air for sexist insults toward 2nd official Sean Massey during a live broadcast. But my point is still valid.

It’s apparently alright to to demean the entire race of women, but heaven forbid a black man is called black. Like I said, I’m opening up a whole world of controversy here, probably painting myself into a corner from which there is no escape. It’s not that you call a black man black, it’s how and why. But it’s the point of LAW here that has me a bit stunned and bewildered. English Law, and supposed free speech, and the fact that racial insults trump sexist gender insults. The fact that it’s apparently alright to call someone a cunt, or a fucking cunt. I suppose if John Terry had (allegedly) called Anton Ferdinand a fucking homo, or a fucking faggot, that would have been alright under the laws of England ((but not, of course the laws of the game….but that’s not the issue in the John Terry case)).

Another thing I don’t understand is why John Terry’s case is being prosecuted by the Crown Court, and Luis Suarez’s case was handled by the Football Association which issued an 8 game suspension and fines of £40,000. Luis Suarez’s case might seem a bit more egregious, his use of the word…..

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Barnsley 3    Ipswich Town 5

Mind you, as a Norwich City fan, there is most likely NO FACKIN’ CHANCE IN HELL that I would root for the Tractor Boys in a match, unless they were playing Manchester United, of course. Also, there is no one, in their right mind, in Blanchardville, Wisconsin  ((although, not many in Blanchardville are in their right mind)); Barcelona, Catalan; Madrid, Spain; or anywhere in Suffolk. Norfolk or South Yorkshire who would call any match pitting Barnsley against Ipwich Town, El Clásico.

To be honest, I originally turned this match on for something to watch while waiting on the Hannover 96/Bayer Leverkusen tilt. I’d finished watching my Canaries pound the hell out of Newcastle 4-2 ((wait for it….wait for it…..Game not as close as scoreboard would indicate)). I had some chores to do in my office, so a little soccer in the background would be perfect. I figured on watching the Bundesliga match, but, as this tilt got underway, it looked like Barnsley was going to clobber the Tractor Boys big time, so I kept watching for the comedic value to of that. Also, upon thinking on it, I felt that The Other 72 deserved my attention a bit more than the Bundesliga.

On the 14th minute, Barnsley took the lead on Craig Davies penalty kick off a David Stockdale yellow card. At the 39 minute Ricardo Vaz Te headed home a Jacob Butterfield corner, for a 2-0 lead. The Tractor Boys had nothing in the way of attack, and it seemed like Barnsley, who looked to have more goals in them, would cruise to a laughably easy victory. There was no noise from the Tractor Boys. The Barnsley lads all went in to halftime with an easy 2-0 lead. The Tractor Boys slunk off to the locker room to face the wrath of gaffer Paul Jewell.

Paul Jewell was brought on January of last season with Ipswich Town in free-fall after the resignation of Roy Keane. Keane had brought some measure of stability to the club, but despite his efforts, the club never seemed to rise above a dull mediocrity. Mired in 21st, just above the relegation zone, Roy Keane was sacked on Jan 7th 2011 following a 0-1 defeat to Nottingham Forest at Portman Road. Paul Jewell was able to rally the boys and finish the season comfortably mid-table in 13th. This season, however, is another matter. Entering yesterday’s tilt with Barnsley, Ipswich Town was mired in 21st place once again. The were in 6th place earlier in the season and were toodling up to Barnsley dragging 7 losses in a row in their wake. Squeaky bum time for Paul Jewell and his job.

I don’t know what Paul Jewell said to The Tractor Boys at halftime, but I’m sure as fock thankful that I wasn’t there to hear it. I’m fairly certain that if the win had been blowing in the right direction, I would have heard every single searing word right hear in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin. Whatever was said, the team that marched down the tunnel to face the half was an entirely different team. Same lads, mind you. But all of a sudden it was very clear that things had changed.

Hardly a minute had passed before skipper Keith Andrews has netted a goal from 20 yards out….it was a thing of beauty. Barely 3 minutes later, Andrews completed his brace on a header off a cross from Aaron Cresswell. And I went DAMN, I just might have to root for the Tractor Boys today. With game level, Ipswich went on to level Barnsley with attack after attack. Danny Collins notched on at the 66 minute mark. 3-2.  Danny Chopra hit the net at the 69th. 4-2. Jason Scotland put the nail in the coffin at the 83rd minute. 5-2. And I’m quite sure that the Ipswich fans who made the trek up north, and had toddled off to the boozer at halftime to drown their sorrows, were going, “Bloody Hell…what did we miss??” That is, if they could speak it all. The match was truly an El Clásico of sorts. At least from the standpoint of Ipswich, Suffolk UK and environs. I mean, it’s not as if FC Barcelona beat Real Madrid at home, or anything.

Speaking of which….

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Tony Stewart Wins Sprint Cup Championship   11/20/2011

Smoke won the Ford 400 at Homestead Miami Speedway, the final race of the season to claim his the Championship of his career. He quite literately had to win that race since he ended the season tied with Carl Edwards who finished second. Despite winning the race, Smoke only won the Championship on the tie-breaker. He had the most wins in 2011, 5. All of them in the Chase. After winning the first two Chase races at Chicago and Loudon, his team went into the shitter ((or, the loo, for those of you Shropshire Lads reading this in Church Stretton)). At Dover, Kansas and Charlotte, the results were horrible. So horrible, in fact, that at Charlotte, he told his crew chief Darien Grubb that Grubb was done at the end of the season…that the results in the pits, the car prep were not acceptable. The following week at Talladega, Stewart got a decent 7th place finish. But then the team somehow kicked into high gear ((any and all puns not intended)). With his lame duck crew chief Darien Grubb leading the charge, Smoke went on to win 3 of the final 4 races. And the Championship.

I did not watch the festivities and from Las Vegas Friday night. It’s oddly disconcerting on some level to see these guys in 3 piece suits instead of firesuits. And while Stewart was the life of the party and so on, clever rejoinders and sparkling repartee and all that dross, the only words, the only talking that really matters are the ones that took place on the track. Not taking anything away from Jimmie Johnson, but I’m glad he did not win a 6th. NASCAR was getting boring, to be honest with the same guy, no matter how great, winning it all the time. Jimmie Johnson is a great and cool guys and all that, and it’s unfair to say it, but he’s boring as hell for some reason.

Smoke, however, is never boring, for any reason. And he made the Chase interesting for a change and gave us the most thrilling finish in recent memory. And the fact that he beat The Carl to win made it all that more sweet. Still, you wonder how he did it. He came into the Chase after Richmond in 9th place, with no wins and only 3 top 5 finishes all season. He barely made the Chase to be honest. And despite winning the first two Chase races, the performance slid back to it’s season-long level of semi-mediocrity ((by Smoke’ standards, of course….quite a few teams out there would KILL their Grandma for that level of mediocity)). So did he and Grubb do it? With Smoke and mirrors?? ((http://youtu.be/_Rav9ijyyZk)).

In any case, it was a great NASCAR season, and for the first time in years I’m actually looking forward to next year. I will say that firing Darien Grubb, who really and truly got Smoke the Championship, tarnishes my enthusiasm a bit for Smoke’s win. But the decision was made earlier on, and somehow, I missed that meeting. No doubt I was checking the results of  that thrilling League 2 match between Torquay United and Gillingham when it was announced that Grubb would be gone at the end of the season. Gillingham, by the way marched down to the Plainmoor Ground and pounded the hometown lads 2-5. So, I guess I can let that one go. Grubb will wind up in a good place, and maybe for him, even a better place.

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Tottenham Hotspur 1     PAOK Thessaloniki 2

Just like that, the onrushing train roared through White Hart Lane, knocking down the green signal and before you could catch your breath it was gone, the signal was red, and the night was dark and silent. And Tottenham was pretty much finished and done in Europe this season. The loss to PAOK for all intents and purposes eliminates the Spurs and no reasonable man or woman will think other wise.

They are in 3rd in group A and have garnered a mere 7 points with one match to play. PAOK is top of the group at 11 points, 1 up on 2nd place Rubin Kazan at 10. There is not a chance of Tottenham catching Rubin Kazan, even if Kazan loses their next match to PAOK which is played on the 15th of December in Thessaloniki. Tottenham plays Shamrock Rovers in Dublin the same day, but there is no chance that Spurs will drub Rovers enough to make any ground on Rubin Kazan. A Rubin loss and Spurs win would leave both tied at 10 points, but Kazan has the tie-break on goal differential, a +5.

So not bloody likely. Rubin Kazan has shown than can score goals, even if the lose, they generally get on the scoreboard. Their only wobble was, ironically their tilt at White Hart Lane where Spurs nipped them 1-0 on a goal by the now maligned/injured Roman Pavluchenko at the 33 minute mark. If Rubin Kazan draws or wins, it’s definitely all over. But realistically, it’s all over right now. Harry might as well bring a bunch of donkeys to Dublin in a fortnight’s time.

AS for the match itself, PAOK had it sown up at the 14 minute mark when Stefanos Athanasiadis tapped in a low ball across the from Giorgos Georgiadis for a 0-2 lead. Spurs took a leaf from the book of Chelsea’s defense of late. PAOK went a man down at the 35 minute mark on a Konstantinos Stafylidis handball. Luka Modric stepped up to the plate and smacked the penalty kick home. With 10 men, PAOK held on for the win and not even the mighty Gareth Bale could save the day.

So Spurs are all knocked down. But England will be well represented in the Europa League with Stoke City atop Group E and Fulham a solid 2nd in Group K. Birmingham City is in a similar train ride as Spurs. But no one really expected Birmingham to do anything more in Europe than show up for work. But they’ve done fairly well, and their hopless scenario is a quite a bit more plausible. They are at 7, Brugge at 10. Final game for City is against Maribor who they beat 1-2 in Slovenia. They need to win big at home next month, but the goal differential is do-able, 2 goals. Brugge finishes at home against Braga….SPORTING Braga, for those of you keeping score at O’Keefe’s House of Hamburg in Milwaukee ((where I will be found as soon as this post reaches 500 words)), which is right about now.

RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011.

England 1      Spain 0

The most important football game in the universe that was played this past Saturday (yesterday as I hammer this out on my Adler J-5 typerwriter) was played at Wembley Stadium, London before a crowd of 87,189. The universe held it’s breath. Would defiant little England clomp out onto pitch with poppies on their shirts? Would they then proceed to receive an expected thrashing at the hands of the World Champions??

It was none of that, ofcourse.

The poppy-gate issue was settled by wearing black armbands with poppies on them.

England proceeded to play Spain’s type of game, for the most part. And that tactic could have lead to VERY grievous result but for the fact that Spain played Spain’s type of game as poorly as England played it.

It was NOT the the most important football game in the universe yesterday. And it was won by England, when for a brief shining moment they played more like, well, England….a James Milner free kick into the box of hope for the best. IN this case, Darren Bent connected with free kick and headed it on goal, but it bounced off the left post and back across, and the onrushing Frank Lampard, England’s temporary Captain, headed it home for the game’s only score at the 49th minute.

Lampard as Captain seems more like replacing a weasel bastard like John Terry with a bunny rabbit ((—Insert Watership Down reference here—)). But it worked, for one game at least. Lescott, Parker and Jagielka held the ramparts at the back. Terry will back at the helm for the Tuesday night’s friendly against Sweden during which at some point Andy Carroll (from the stands, not the pitch) will point to a Swedish player flopping on the pitch and say, “Look at Sven, he’s so drunk he tinks he’s ME!”

Yes, much to look forward to. Especially if England returns to their usual dysfunctional self. Which by the way will have nothing to do with John Terry, and more to do with England being England after all. Spain had an off day…so let’s not get over our skis like Eddie the Eagle.

And no, this was not the most important football game in the universe.

What WAS you ask??

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