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The Eight-Legged Martian With Glowing Eyes!!

Sunderland 2     ManU(re) 1   Well, that’s three losses on the bounce for the famous and renowned Manchester United. And see how nice I can be?? Just like I’ve stopped calling Jeff Gordon That Homo, I’ve stopped ((for a descending series of moments, at least)) calling Manchester United ManU(re). But I still find…

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Half Life

If I Knew Your Were Coming, I’d Have Baked You A Cake   Like most of you, I would assume, I must have missed the meeting where several new, elusive and exceedingly obscure new elements were discovered and announced to the world. Some of these elements have half-lives that measure in tenths of milliseconds. I…

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It’s FERGIE Time!!!

sir alex ferguson

Coach K calls for 4 minutes of Fergie Time!!   For those of you have been lurking in the nooks and crannies of Toby’s Place in Blanchardville, Wisconsin. Or for those of you at the Firehouse Bar & Grill in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin, where my words flow like a waterfall ((just try and stop a…

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The Elusive W

In 2023, Chelsea’s newest owner becomes bored with his team winning everything.  He decides to try his hand with NASCAR.   Imagine that. The post-Roman Abramovich era. It will be upon us someday, hopefully not soon, assuming the inherent dysfunction amongst the board and middle management gets corrected.  But what will be our fate when…

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Rafa OUT: The Crying of Lot SW6

Rafa OUT??? What the hell did I do to piss everyone off?? I should not write a thing at the moment. I’m just too pig-biting mad! But, I’ve never let the facts get in the way of the truth, so why stop now. And as for facts, while I’ve never actually read Thomas Pynchon’s The…

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Concepts Of Zero

Juventus 3     Chelsea 0 Let me get this out of the way straight up. Zero is not always the coolest number. That is one of the many concepts of zero. There are more concepts of zero than you can imagine. And more of them are being discovered everyday. And if you want to…

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Sweet And Happy Day

Chelsea 2      ManU(re) 3   If I were the editorial staff of the MIRROR, I would probably have closed this little reportage to any sort of repartee. This is my comment to said reportage, but as I type this on my trusty Adler J-5, my comment has to yet hit the MIRROR. Perhaps…

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A Sex Education

BATE Borosov 3      Bayern München 1   I knew there’d be a terrible upset in today’s Champions League tilts. I just didn’t expect Bayern München to be on the receiving end of that deal. I was really hoping that ManU(re)’s trek to VampireLand would have ended with CF Cluj’s gaffer, Ioan Andone, sucking…