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Concepts Of Zero

Juventus 3     Chelsea 0

Let me get this out of the way straight up. Zero is not always the coolest number. That is one of the many concepts of zero. There are more concepts of zero than you can imagine. And more of them are being discovered everyday.

And if you want to see most of the rest them in action, then you should watch, if you can bear to, the replay of Tuesday’s UEFA’s Champions League tilt between Juve and Chelsea. Pay close attention to attention to it and take notes if you must, or if you dare.

Let’s start with the squad selection. Cech in goal, obviously. Ivan, Cahill, Luiz & Cole at the back. That makes sense too. BUT….the rest of the squad was Mikel, Ramires, Azpi, Oscar, Mata & Hazard!! I mean, what the fock kind of formation is that? 4-6-0?  3-1-2-4-0? 5-5-0? ((hint: Take note of the zero)). A curious choice to say the least. An experiment befitting more of last Saturday’s tilt with West Brom ((hint: more concepts of zero forthcoming after the break)) instead of a vital, must win, Champions League tilt. It begs many questions. One of them being WHO was intended to be the False 9?

The False 9, by the way is a concept of zero that very few teams that are not from Spain can actually pull off effectively. So what did RDM have in mind Tuesday? From the evidence of the match, I’m not really sure. No one, except for possibly Oscar in the first half, seemed to step into those boots with any sort of authority. And if Moses was to play that part in the 2nd half when he was subbed in for Azpi, there was certainly very little in the way of attacking verve to make it work. By the time the real #9 was subbed in for Mikel, the attacking was so muddled it was virtually non-existent. Torres might be a shadow of his former self and all, but without any hint of attack, what’s the point? By the time Torres came of, Oscar, Hazard, and Mata had stopped scaring the Juve backline.

Note that Chelsea scored ZERO. That too, is a concept of zero. And guess what, it all adds up to zero.

Chelsea I’m afraid are doomed to slog their way through the Europa League on Thursday nights in grim Eastern European shitholes. And that is yet another concept of zero.

Guess what happens next?!!


Roberto Di Matteo SACKED as Chelsea manager!!


Good guess.

I was a bit surprised when I awoke to the news this morning, but I guess it was not much of a surprise when you stop and think about it.  The loss to Juventus, coupled with the loss at West Brom over the weekend, coupled with the absolute lack of patience on the part of Roman and his management team….it all adds up to an early exit for RDM. Despite winning the FA Cup trophy and getting Roman his elusive UEFA Champions League trophy, Roberto Di Matteo becomes the 9th manager to depart in nine seasons. Now THAT’s a concept of zero if I ever saw one.

If Robbie’s 4-6-0 gambit had worked, he would have bought himself a bit of time. In fact, he’d be lauded as a genius. He would have also bought Roman a bit of time to woo his preferred target to manage Chelsea. But the loss to Juve was one loss too many for a decent young manager who’s done a pretty remarkable job all things considered. I’m sure RDM will not be on gardening leave for long.

Instead, Rafa Benetez will take the reins as yet another interim gaffer. Time will tell whether this will be yet another concept of zero made manifest. What Rafa has going for him is that he can at least spot a priest on a mountain of sugar. That vision will surely help Chelsea tighten up it’s weakest link. (Hint: It’s the defense)).

Also, it’s quite possible that Rafa will be able to get a bit more out of Torres than the last three gaffers. After all, Torres was at his level best at Liverpool under Rafa. So there is a ray of hope that Rafa can get Torres out of the mental shitehole that seems, to me at least, to be giving him a steady stream of integer divide by zero error messages.

That being said, I’m sure more concepts of zero await. But as long Chelsea gets back to their winning ways….guess how much a few concepts of zero will matter to me?

You guessed it. ZERO!!  KTBFFH!!


Sweden 4     England 2

In other concepts of zero from the past week or so, Stephen Gerrard’s 100th cap for England in a friendly certainly qualifies, especially since the result for England was not at all as close as the scoreboard would indicate. Stephen Gerrard is nice fellow and all ((or not, depending on your fannish perspective)). And I really wish he’d worn a shirt with 100 on the back. That would’ve been a nice touch.

But a nicer touch would have been for England to find a way to keep Zlatan out of the endzone ((hint: using an NFL metaphor to describe soccer is also a concept of zero)).  Zlatan was unstoppable. And his wonder goal in stoppage time was astonishing.



Norwich City 1      ManU(re) 0

Hey! Guess how many goals Manchester United scored at Carrow Road last Saturday? (( Hint: it’s the same number they scored at Galatasaray on Tuesday)) That’s right. ZERO. And if any team deserves to bear the number zero, and all the concepts of zero as well, it’s Manchester Cayman Islands United.

It was a great effort by my Canaries. They’re really coming together now as a team under Chris Hughton. John Ruddy is a class goalie and his England cap is well deserved. Zero indeed is the coolest number these days at Carrow Road. Norwich has now kept 3 clean sheets in a row.

Chelsea should be so lucky.

1000 words exactly. Another concept of zero. DONE!



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