I am the motherfucking KING of Truck Drivers!! You want to know why?? Because I’m motherfucking Kyle Busch. That’s why!!!
Whether you think Kyle Busch is a douchebag, or an asshole, or an insufferable twat, or the reigning King of Faggotry, or not, you have to admit that in NASCAR, at least, he is The King of Truck Drivers. No one can deny that. He’s won every Camping World Truck Series race he’s entered this season. And in his 4th win in Friday’s Lucas Oil 200 at the Monster Mile in Dover this Friday, he pretty much lapped the field.
Well, there were 6 other trucks finishing with him on the lead lap. But for the majority of the race, his #51 Monster Energy/Betty J France Humanitarian Award Toyota Tundra held a commanding lead and led the most laps (150). His only serious challenge in the race came from Matt Crafton, who led 46 laps in the #88 Menards Toyota, but crashed on lap 156 to end his chance at finally winning one against Kyle Busch. I’ll give you a guess who won the only race Kyle hasn’t been entered in this season.
Ha ha ha!!! I’ve won 2 races so far this weekend!! You want to know why??? Because I’m motherfucking Kyle Busch, THAT’S why!!!
Saturday’s Buckle Up 200 at Dover was a little bit closer and more competitive. And in the Nationwide Series, a Kyle Busch win is always or hardly a sure thing. So on Saturday, Matt Kenseth, Joey Logano ((one of Kyle Busch’s new bestest pals of all time) and Young Trevor Bayne ((think the Young Jack Wilshire, only in NASCAR and less injury-prone)) made a race of it.
But it seemed somehow, inevitable that Kyle Busch would find a way to win this.
And he did, and he took a bow.
And as the boos rained down and then sparkled into silence and dried away….the real challenge awaited.
No matter where they looked, the evil machinations of Chad Knaus and the damned ability of Jimmie Johnson was always in front of them. It was Johnson’s 2nd win in a row and the start of his annual quest to bore NASCAR to death. And there was nothing the motherfucking Kyle Busch could do to stop it!
It might have a been more satisfying if I had watched USA take on, and beat, Turkey in a friendly tune-up for the World Cup. That thought, unreasonable as it sounds and probably is, stuck in my head as the checkered flag dropped on Dover, dropped it’s black and white gloom, and crushed the hopes and dreams of everyone not named Jimmie Johnson and Chad Knaus. Even Miles the Monster was crushed and broken after this one.
Here we go again. That sinking feeling
It’s time to see if maybe that Witch Doctor from Ghana who cast the spell on Cristiano Ronaldo can do his best worst on Chad Knaus and Jimmie Johnson before the green flag drops at Pocono this weekend.
So much for motherfucking truck drivers.