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The Cowards

noel coward

Basel 1      Chelsea 0   I can name all the cowards for you right now. ((And you will note that the late great Nöel Coward is not on that list and never will be.)) The cowards are: Petr Čech, Gary Cahill, John Terry, Branislav Ivanović, César Azpilicueta, John Obi Mikel, Frank Lampard, Willian,…

500 Words Or LessAnimeDull Tedious ShiteGiant RobotsThe Sporting LifeTrains

Baked In A Pie

jose mourinho

Newcastle United 2      Chelsea 0   I’ve said many times that the Gundam always wins. Same for the Valvraves and the Variable Fighters of Macross. What I mean by that is that they always win in the end. Sometimes they have to retreat and fight another day. But on the way to ultimate victory, they…

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Half Life

If I Knew Your Were Coming, I’d Have Baked You A Cake   Like most of you, I would assume, I must have missed the meeting where several new, elusive and exceedingly obscure new elements were discovered and announced to the world. Some of these elements have half-lives that measure in tenths of milliseconds. I…

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The Train To Relegation

Crystal Palace here we come!!!   Tomorrow morning (as I type this on my Adler J5), the English Premier League season begins with a tilt between Liverpool and Stoke City which will be broadcast at 6:30 AM CDT on the NBC Sports Network. NBC will be broadcasting live every game this season. They’ve been promoting…

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Win Or DIE!!

fascist football clubs

Sunderland FC has a new manager   Like many people, I wonder what was going through Ellis Short’s mind when he hired Paulo Di Canio as the new head coach at Sunderland to replace recently deposed Martin O’Neill. How well was Di Canio vetted for the position? Did no one point out to Ellis Short…

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The Special One

Chelsea 4      Brentford 0   Apparently, Chelsea woke up about the same time I did today. On most days, that would be a good thing, IF we shared the same time zone or postal code, that is. But I live in the 53572 and they live in the SW6. So when I woke…

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  Leeds United 1       Chelsea 5 Chelsea 8      Aston Villa 0   The orders were hooped up to Rafa Benitez somewhere between Leeds and Wakefield. I can almost imagine one of Roman Abramovich’s minions hiding the weeds across from Thorpe Wood hooping the orders up and getting his arm torn off in the…

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Sweet And Happy Day

Chelsea 2      ManU(re) 3   If I were the editorial staff of the MIRROR, I would probably have closed this little reportage to any sort of repartee. This is my comment to said reportage, but as I type this on my trusty Adler J-5, my comment has to yet hit the MIRROR. Perhaps…

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Stabbed By A Westbound Freight

Railway Park, Rochelle IL, 7/13/12, 5:42PM CDT In the little train stations in my mind, a few things seem remarkably better than I can recall them being of late, but there are still good reasons for me remain silent, and still, and hope no one comes around to give those stations a new roof or…

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Halt! NONE Shall Pass!!

Euro 2012

Sweden 2    England 3 Spain 4    Ireland 0 After Matchday 2 of Euro 2012, Sweden and Ireland are officially 2 and done. Or in Ireland’s case, 2 and Dunne. They’ll play their final games against France and Italy respectively, and then shove off for Stockholm and Dublin to drown their sorrows. While I never had…

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I Want To Go Back To Dreaming About Space

Netherlands  0     Denmark  1 If I could, I would write a million words about the turmoil of the past two weeks.  But there is never enough time or words.  Never enough pictures. The Milwaukee Brewers,  after a 4 game sweep on the road of the  LA Dodgers, the best team in baseball, lost…

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Knocked Down Signal

Gary Speed

  Tottenham Hotspur 1     PAOK Thessaloniki 2 Just like that, the onrushing train roared through White Hart Lane, knocking down the green signal and before you could catch your breath it was gone, the signal was red, and the night was dark and silent. And Tottenham was pretty much finished and done in Europe this…

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The Search For The Next Fernando Torres of NASCAR

You’ll Never Walk Alone….etc. Silly Season is upon us. The transfer window is open and all the great gods of England and Europe and NASCAR are lining up the bids and proposals for the next remarkable talent, the next piece of the 4 man or 11 man puzzle. Search parties are scouring the continents, far…

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Here Come The Bicycle Fascists

bicycle fascists

“First we make it to the top of Blue Mound…..THEN we go win the Tour de France!!“ As I scribble this in a small Neopets notebook in purple ink with a UNIBALL Micro Vision Elite pen while waiting for the end the of the world to begin today at 6PM Christian Standard Time, I thought…