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The Relegation Train Arriving On Tracks 4, 5, and 6 Is Coming In Sideways.


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The 2013-2014 Premier League season has swerved to it’s inevitable conclusion. The relegation train arriving on tracks 4, 5, and 6 is coming in sideways, and some of the expected passengers are not onboard.

Before the start of the season, I made my bold predictions as to where each team would finish and who would be relegated. And I hope none of you bet any of your money, let alone any of your mother-in-law’s money on that stunning spectacle of punditry. If you had, then shame on you. But I’ll (maybe) buy you a beer and you can drown your sorrows with me.

I got NONE of the teams slotted in the right spot. And worst of all, none of the teams I thought would be relegated went down.

For the record, I had Sunderland, Hull City, and Crystal Palace on the high speed train to relegation. ALL of them stayed up. Hull and Crystal Palace were solid this season. Well, Crystal Palace was solid after Ian Holloway resigned and was replaced by Tony Pulis. Hull City just made a real game of the FA Cup Final which finished just moments ago….jumping off to a 0-2 lead before succumbing to Arsenal in extra time 3-2. And Sunderland’s great escape was aided and abetted by the teams who went down as much as through their own efforts.

As for the teams who are relegated, well….I’m almost at a loss for words that aren’t expletive-related. The three teams who are dropping to the Championship next season were predicted to finish 9th, 14th & 15th in my little preseason poll. As you can see, I was wrong by wide margin.

Predicted to finish 15th and coming in last in the 20th position was Cardiff City. Of the 3 teams who were promoted, I’d figured Cardiff to stay up. But then, their fock-wit owner sacked Malkey Mackay and despite having one of the top goalies in the Prem, it was all downhill from there.

I expected Fulham to finish 14th. I had felt, at the time, that Berbatov would be a big factor and that a new owner would bring a resurgence of spirit. I was totally wrong on all counts. I didn’t realize the depths of despond in that organization. The didn’t and couldn’t even capitalize on the return of their hero Clint Dempsey who came in on a January loan. They finished a sad 19th and it might be a awhile before they get back to the Prem.

I could write a 2500+ post on Norwich City’s relegation plummet alone ((3,500+ words if I get help from Ian Crook)). At the start of the season it all looked so promising. We brought in new strikers in VanWolfswinkel and Hooper, and sharp young talent in Ollson, Fer and Redmond. I thought we were poised for a boost in offensive firepower and would finish 9th, not 18th. I was so very wrong. Offense was non-existent and everything became more negative and dreary as the season wore on. Chris Hughton  finally got the sack, but it was too late for Neil Adams to turn things around. So…it’s back to the Championship for my Canaries.

Bring on the Tractor Boys!! Something to look forward to at least.

There. Brief, to the point, and 500 words or less because I say it is.


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