- By Fat Nakago
- 31 January, 2013
- 1 Comment
It’s been said that dogs can take on the characteristics and personality of their owner, and I think there’s a home truth to that. What other explanation can there be for Chelsea’s performances of late? Those Capital One Cup matches with Swansea; last Sunday’s FA cup tie with the Mighty Brentford Bees; and now yesterday Premier’s League tilt with Reading, lowly Reading who clawed back to equalize at the death. Now by owner here I’m not referring to Roman Abramovich ((though there might be something there as well, so hold that thought)). By owner I’m referring to the man with whom they spend the most time in this wicked world of ours, just as our dogs do with us. That would be Rafa Benitez for those of you keeping score at Toby’s Bar in evil evil Blanchardville, Wisconsin.
What other explanation could there be for Chelsea giving up a 2 goal lead to Reading at the death? I watched that match with Brentford, and though I didn’t watch yesterday’s tilt, from the match reports it seems very obvious to me that the entire Chelsea squad has become a squad of Fat Spanish Waiters.
Actually, I’d prefer to join a Michael Emenalo Out Brigade®. I’d prefer….well….
Reading 2 Abramograd Chelski FC 2
I’d prefer to join a Bruce Buck Ron Gourlay and The Rest Of The Board Sticks To The Prawn Sandwich Side Of The Business And Leave The Football Side Of The Business To People Who Actually Know Their Ass From A Crack In The Ground About Football Brigade®. Let’s get one of THOSE going and I’ll sign up at ONCE.
The real problem at Chelsea is not the players ((although they ought to be ashamed of themselves when they look in the mirror)). It’s not the Fat Spanish Waiter ((although, when all is said and done, the team under his guidance is still careening perilously off course—not Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald off course—but still enough to keep the Coast Guard on standby)). It really doesn’t matter at the moment WHO the coach at Chelsea is. RDM, AVB, Ancellotti, El Special One, whoever it is….fock, they could just as well have named Diego Maradona as coach instead of Rafa, and it wouldn’t have made a difference at the moment. Well…Diego would be vastly more entertaining, but I digress.
The problem for the manager/head coach/gaffer at Chelsea are the utter focktards between him and Roman Abramovich. Emanelo, Buck, Gourlay, and the rest. Emanelo especially needs to be sent packing to somewhere. I’m sure he’s a nice decent man and all, but so are a lot of men in his position with sports teams worldwide….and not just in soccer…baseball, basketball, the NFL, baseball….but that doesn’t change the fact that he is not very good at what he’s doing. Not good at all. And Chelsea is NOT the place for him to learn and get better. We can’t afford that.
What we need are quality people to run the football side of the business who actually KNOW what they’re doing. And Buck and Gourlay, who are probably adept at running the business (a/k/a the prawn sandwich) side of the team, should keep their fucking noses out of football operations. The worrisome thing is that they have no real knack for hiring good football talent, meaning, director of football operations talent.
What is needed is a Director of Football Operations. This person would be very similar to, say, General Manager Ted Thompson from the Green Bay Packers. At the Green Bay Packers, Thompson is charge of football operations. He is responsible for personnel decisions. And most importantly, HE is the one who hires, and if need be, fires, the head coach. Ted Thompson has done a brilliant job with the Packers. One year into his tenure, he fired previous head coach Mike Sherman and hired current head coach Mike McCarthy. A brilliant move as McCarthy coached the Packers to their 4th Super Bowl win two years ago.
The current rumour flying around is the Guus Hiddink has been tipped to replace Rafa. Hiddink is the football person who could be an ideal Director of Football Operations. Let Hiddink take full responsibility for personnel matters and anything pertaining to the football side of the business. And let Hiddink, and no one else, hire the head coach. It’s on Guus, then. The rest of those craven focktards are out of it. This is the model with most NFL teams and I think it’s a model that could work very well at Chelsea.
So, if Roman can step back and delegate FULL authority to a quality football person…
Yes. Dogs can take on the characteristic and personalities of their owners. And at the end of the day, it’s on Roman and his management team. They’ve created a world of impetuous and impulsive inconsistency and instability. And the lads at Chelsea have taken on that personality as well. Look at the results from Reading, from Brentford, from Swansea and it’s very clear.
We have a team of inconsistent Fat Spanish Waiters playing with impetuous instability.
This needs to change, and change now.