AnimeBeerDull Tedious ShiteNASCARThe Sporting Life

Look Forward In Anger

It’s probably a blessing in more ways than one that my wife and I don’t live in some grim, Northern shithole like Leeds or Bolton or Wolverhampton in merry old England. Instead we dwell up on Military Ridge in the Driftless Zone of SW Wisconsin, a place of releatively more impassioned beauty. But then again, grimness can be everywhere, I suppose. And not being one to let the facts impede the progress of truth, I  must confess that there is, of course, more impassioned beauty than my customarily cynical words can ever hope to capture. It’s all there for the taking, and for almost as cheap as those 30-paks of beer available at Woodmans for $10.95 or less. So that pretty much sums up 2010.

On to the terrible New Year, then. No need to look back at the wreckage of 2010…no need to pluck the carcass clean for a the last bit of succulence. Again, no paltry Top Ten Douchebags of 2010 Lists. All that dross. No need to even mention that Jimmie Johnson his fifth championship made NASCAR 2010 into what was, for the most part, a boring exercise in just driving around. I shall not say a word about Chelsea winning the Double, then opening the new 2010-2011 season playing PlayStation Football, and are now ending the first half of the new season with a whimper worthy of any T.S. Eliot poem that comes to mind…and the one that comes immediately to mind is The Hollow Men.

Let’s look ahead to 2011. But…hang on a second, it’s my cell phone.

“Why…..why Yes, SIR. I’ll get right to it.”

Ahem!! Yes. Well….I will do ONE little look back after all. That was 4 time Craftsman Truck Series champion Ron Hornaday on the phone. I’ve gotta ((you damn well better!!) do the Top 9 Anime of 2010 List. So before we wade into the onrushing onslaught of time, there is work to be done:

If you don’t watch these Anime shows, Ron Hornaday will come to your house and kick your ass!!

“I know that cueball-headed goof Todd Bodine won the Craftsman Truck Championship in 2010, but I still have more championships than him. And I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing in that goofy hat, but he’d better park his cueball in front of a computer and watch The Top 9 Anime Shows of 2010. And you’d better watch them too or I’ll come to your house and kick yer ass!”

The Ron Hornaday Top 9 Anime Shows of 2010

  1. Giant Killing
  2. Sora No Woto
  3. Angel Beats
  4. Durarara!!
  5. High School of The Dead
  6. The Tatami Galaxy
  7. Yosuga No Sora
  8. My Little Sister Can’t Be This Cute
  9. The World God Only Knows

There you have it. A few shows didn’t make the list simply because I haven’t watched enough of the episodes yet, Kuragahime and House of 5 Leaves fall into this catagory. Both shows are excellent and deserve a place on the list.  Others are incomplete for other reasons, or OVAs…Gundam Unicorn is an example of that. A few comedies, while good shows, did not make list and are highly recommended: Panty & Stocking; Chu-Bra!; and B Gata H Kei are all worthy of you time.

And remember, if you don’t watch these shows, Ron Hornaday WILL come to your house and kick your ass. And I might just ride along with him.

Arsenal 3    Chelsea 1

Nuff said THERE, yes?? Chelsea is a one man team these days, but Mr. Chelsea can’t do it all. He’s getting on in years. It’s like these boobs have forgotten not only how to play football with each other, they’ve forgotten some of the very basic elements of the game. I watched every gutting minute of that monstrosity of a match last Monday, December 27th. Every minute, every horrifying moment. The only solace for me was my continually replenished my of Grumpy Troll Monk’s Pride. That was the only pride for me I’m here to tell ya. Since there was nothing on the ESPN2 broadcast for me to be proud of. 10 men went to mow a meadow and got themselves hosed and harvested by That French Crumpet Arsene Wegner’s pretty boys….who for perhaps the first time this season played like grim northern brutes (or reasonable facsimile’s thereof).

Arsenal was playing in Chelsea’s end for most of the 1st half…and especially as the half was drawing to the final 10 minutes I said to myself that Chelsea can’t hold these guys off much longer. And as I knew would happen, Alex Song smacked home a gem off a nice Cesc Fàbregas pass and Arsenal took a 1-0 lead into halftime. Now I figured, the Blues would come out in the 2nd half reorganized, regrouped and ready to take of the business at hand. They had the 2nd half kickoff. But….that’s when the wheels came off the hay-wagon and the men in blue were spilled into the meadow and left for dead.

Arsenal focking stole the 2nd half kickoff from Chelsea. It was like snitching candy from a little girl and at that one moment I knew that Chelsea was doomed, that everything that had been going wrong was set to go grievously more wrong. And it did. In the span of the next 8 minutes, Cesc Fàbregas and Theo Walcott popped in 2 more EASY goals even I could have rolled my fat white ass onto the pitch and scored. And at the 58 minute mark, Arsenal up 3-0, the match was essentially over. Ivanovic cracked a nice header at the 57 minute mark to make it 3-1, sparking a little raw of hope that the Blues could mount a comeback. But the match was long over…it was over the moment that Arsenal stole that kickoff.

On Wednesday, Bolton came to the Bridge and though Chelsea won that grim tilt 1-0, their play did very little to inspire confidence for the future. It’s going to be grim start to 2011 I’m afraid, unless the lads in Blue can get their heads out of their arses. If not, I CAN say with confidence that my buddy Jeff Graf will be taunting my arse with even MORE fervour than usual as his ManU Red Devil reside atop the table with a game in hand on Arsenal and Chelsea, and 2 games in hand on crosstown rivals Man City. If Chelsea doesn’t pull out of this nose dive and promptly, Ancelotti most likely will be gone, and then they might as well gut the team and start anew. As much as I like Drogba and Lamps and Terry and Malouda and Anelka and Essien…some of them might need to be replaced, especially the latter 3. I hate to say that, but it’s the truth right now. The lads are not getting it done. The coach is not getting it done. And then, there’s the owner….he certainy has to hold up his end of the donkey as well….I still would like to know why Ray Wilkens was REALLY sacked….and if Abromovich wants Chelsea to win, then he has to shake loose a little coin in January so Ancelotti can secure the right pieces to the puzzle.

Oh well….just bring it on. It’s not like great teams don’t suck every once in a while. I’m a true Blue fan no matter what. Bring it on. Aston Villa trots down to the Bridge on Sunday. That’s next year, for those keeping score at home as I type this at 6:31PM CST as the shrimps and the steaks are marinating. Hopefully Gerard Houillier’s Villans trot down for a beating and trot back home to Birmingham. That would be MY New Years Resolution, if I was making any.

Here’s the rest of 2011 in 350 words or less….

I promised the lads down at the pub….THE FIREHOUSE in Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin for those of you keeping score at home in the grim northern shitholes of England…that I would go straight home and summarize 2011 in 350 words or less. I’m pretty glad I didn’t bet them all a drink I could do it ’cause I’d start the new year grievously in the red.

But I’ll keep it brief. Since the view ahead of us is just as grim. Danica Patrick will not save NASCAR, but she might win the Indy 500 for a change ((my New Years Resolution #2)). Someone besides Jimmie Johnson will finally, at LONG LAST, win the NASCAR Sprint Cup Championship….and hopefully the #17 will be involved with that ((New Years Resolution #4))….also, Dale Earnhardt Jr. WILL win the Daytona 500 and then all will finally be right with the world. Meanwhile, in our safe European home, Sebastian Vettel will NOT repeat as F1 Champ, but neither will Michael Schumacher, who should just hand the keys to Kimi Räikkönen and join the fallen Brett Faberge on the retirement dole. The NFL had lined up this really cool Black Oak Arkansas tribute band to play at half-time during the Super Bowl…but they backed out at the last minute citing a prior engagement they forgot about, they have to play the drummer’s brother-in-law’s biker wedding reception at the HOG’S BREATH SALOON in Kansasville, Wisconsin…so the NFL had to settle for The Black Eyed Peas. But no matter, the Packers will win the Super Bowl anyway.

As for baseball, the Milwaukee Brewers will attempt to win the World Series, and just might. As for music, I still hate it as much as I hate people, so Happy Focking New Year.


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