500 Words Or LessAnimeDull Tedious ShiteI Hate MusicI Hate PeopleNASCARThe Sporting Life

I Promise If I’m Elected, A NASCAR In Every Garage!!

Ah yes. There is an election coming up in that colonial outpost known as the USA. But y’all know where I stand on that, so no need for me to elaborate. I’ve already cast my vote, and I’ll be keeping myself occupied as I go about my business, waiting on the results from Veltins Arena in Gelsinkirchen Germany, the Etihad in Manchester UK, and other venues across Europe as the UEFA Champions League tilts continue.

And if the election doesn’t go my way, well….there will be plenty of time between the closing of the polls and the inauguration for me to:

  1. Get that Passport I’ve been meaning to get.
  2. Brush up on my French.
  3. Learn to speak German.
  4. Work on perfecting a Geordie accent.
  5. And oh yes, find a new job in a more civilized part of the world—my theory is that anywhere in the world there is ALWAYS some sort of advertising scheme that can be concocted and implemented, so…how do I say, “Sign here and give me a check,” in Slovenian again??….ah yes, “Prijavite se tukaj in mi ček!”

Of course, if the results go my way in that OTHER little tilt in the colonies, then all will be well whether Schalke or Ajax win or not.


Jimmy Johnson and his Damned Ability

I can hardly believe there only three more races left in the NASCAR season. Texas today, then Phoenix and Homestead. And then…..the Champion will be crowned. Hrrrr!! Jimmy Johnson holds the points lead, and the pole for Texas as I write this. We simply can’t allow this to happen. Surely Bad Brad or Clint can grasp victory over the next 3 weekends, yes?

Despite our real world political differences, I’m sure even the most fascist of my readers can agree with me on this, and so? Anyone but Jimmie.

Despite teeing off from the pole, I don’ see Jimmie winning today’s AAA Texas 500. Jimmie has only won here once, back in 2007. This is track that has favoured the Roushketeers, and if I were you, I’d bet all my mother-in-law’s money on one of them winning it today. Biff tees of 2nd, The Carl 9th, and Matt 10th. But be warned that Bad Brad rolls off 8th and had the fastest time in final practice, so proceed with caution if you’re hitting your mother-in-law up for your punters chance. And if you fancy yourself a true sportsman, Danica rolls off in 33rd, and nice punt would be to put a fiver on her finishing in the top 10….you could pay your mother-in-law back with THAT win.

Hopefully Jimmie will meet the same fate that another pole-sitter met today. Lewis Hamilton started form the pole at the Abu Dhabi Gran Prix, but retired mid-race due to mechanical issues. Kimi Räikkönen took the win and was joined on the podium by Fernando Alonso and the aforementioned Sebastian Vettel, who clawed his way to third from dead last…Vettel was penalized for a fuel violation in qualifying and had to start from the back.

As for me, I’m rooting for Matt. But y’all know that as well.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *