AnimeBeerDull Tedious ShiteNASCARThe Sporting Life

With All Their Guns Blazing

manchester derbyLouis van Gaal and Manuel Pelligini share a bit of pre-Manchester Derby banter….


The most important thing that will happen tomorrow, as I write this, or one hundred years ago, as you read this, is the Manchester Derby.

Not the Breeders Cup, the US Gran Prix, the Texas 500, nor Washington 23  Minnesota Vike-Queens 13. Nope.

The eyes of the universe will be on a football match in Manchester, England UK. Time will stop. The sun will keep its weary head in the full upright and locked position for this. The Queen will stop whatever regal thing she is doing. Prime Minister David Cameron will postpone those urgent phone calls to Angela Merkel, Barack Obama, Blaise Compaore, and Stephen Harper.

I’m glad the eyes of the universe will be watching it. I’m glad that you will be watching it, along with Aaron Rodgers, Joe Namath, Neil Young ((no…scratch that, I meant Justin Timberlake)), Justin Timberlake, and several NASCAR drivers in their pajamas who will be huddled around a TV in Danica Patrick’s hauler……

I’ll be at work, so I won’t see a minute of it. I’ll miss Angel DiMaria making twats of Demichelis and Yaya Toure. I’ll miss Sergio-kun slicing and dicing the (alleged) ManU(re) defense.

Actually, I wont miss any of those things. But I won’t be watching.

As I said, I’ll be at work. And since I don’t live in Manchester UK, I won’t take time off of my job to watch this. So it will all play itself out without my jaundiced eye. And my fervent wish is that it ends in a dreary 0-0 draw. A dreary draw….not a hard fought and thrilling draw. A match that would make any non-League match or Sunday Pub League match look like a Champions League or World Cup Final. I want both Manchesters to hang their sorry heads in shame when Michael Oliver blows for time.

But it will more likely be like thus: two sets of Noisy Neighbors drunkenly arguing and fighting in their trailer court late into the night. As long as it ends in a draw….with a few of the participants sent to a women’s prison or a drunk tank…preferably if one of the ones sent off is Wayne Rooney…then the scoreline matters naught….as long as it’s a draw. One point each for you NFL/NASCAR fans down at The Firehouse in Mt. Horeb WI who are fixing to hopelessly try and borrow Leo’s sweet El Camino to move yer shit out of your girlfriend’s house to your other girlfriend’s house. Yes, in the Prem, mediocrity is a awarded with a point. But YOU will not get to borrow the El Camino.

Oh….speaking of Wayne Rooney…


new ManU(re) kitRooney models ManU(re)’s new kit


The irony, if you’d call it that, about this season’s Manchester Derby is that it’s not a clash of Titans like it has been in recent years. Man U(re) is a mid-table squad at best. And City has become once more, like it was under Mancini, a collection of costly players instead of a team. The reigning Premier Champs are not going to defend their title….the best they can finish based on current evidence is second. Not that Chelsea will have them a lap down by Boxing Day, but…..

So the match will still be a brutal affair, as it should be. But no more than that. There will naught riding on it than local bragging rights.

I’m simply hoping that nobody has anything to brag about.

In case you’re wondering, the young City fan is horrified because Rooney has ManU(re)’s Chevrolet logo shaved into his chest hair.



west london derby

west london derby2Chelsea 2    QPR 1


At the Bridge this morning, the West London Derby was played out to it’s forgone conclusion. Chelsea, of course, beat Queens Park Rangers and banked all 3 points, increasing their lead on the rest of Prem. A fabulous goal from Oscar, and sharp penalty by Hazard bookended a somewhat disturbing goal by Charlie Austin…a goal that absolutely should NOT have occurred.

So while I can mutter to myself that a win is a win, I’m guessing, fairly safely, that my feelings about this win are roughly aligned with Mourinho’s feeling about this win. It was win that really, truth be told, was not a win to smile about.

We had a lot of chances, but couldn’t convert them. We were toying with QPR all match, but that sort play lulled us to sleep and a lapse in concentration led to Charlie Austin’s goal.

Yeh, at least we defeated a lesser opponent. But our manner of play was sloppy and wasteful at times. There wasn’t a consistent full-out effort. We can’t afford to play like that….not if we want to win the Prem. Or the Champions League. Or the League Cup. Or the FA Cup. Or our match next weekend with Liverpool.



tejas1Brad Kesolowski fancies himself taking revenge on Matt Kenseth


Actually, Bad Brad, being on probation, is in no position to do such a thing. But like all of us, he can indulge in a daydream or two. And if he dresses up like an anime mascot character, who would even know?!! Oh…

In the real scheme of things, it’s Kevin Harvick who wants to exact revenge on Matt Kenseth for a wreck at Martinsville last weekend which was, admittedly Matt’s fault. It was a mistake, nothing evil or deliberate, and Matt has profusely apologized, but their little dust-up ruined Harvick’s day and has left him 8th in Chase points at the moment and quite possibly on the brink of elimination.

So Harvick has stated that if HE is going to be eliminated from the Final at Homestead, then Matt is going down with him.  ((–insert WHO WEARS THE FIRESUIT IN THE FAMILY joke, here– ))

Brave words, and all. But I really don’t think Harvick is THAT dim to try anything at Texas. Or anywhere for that matter to be honest. The better focus would be winning a damn race. Problem solved.

Or, just have at it with fists.



chumplinshipWho will join Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg on the podium THIS week???  (picture not related)


I’m more drubbed about missing the US Gran Prix being held in Austin at the same time as AAA Texas 500 in Fort Worth. And ofcourse, hardly ANYONE will be in the stands at the Texas Motor Speedway since they’ll all be down at the Circuit of The Americas watching the drivers in 3rd, 4th, and 5th duke it out to see who gets to join Lewis & Nico on the podium this week. And those that aren’t down in Austin will over at AT&T Stadium in Arlington watching Arizona Cardinals 27 Dallas Cowboys 26.

So no one will be watching NASCAR and since I can’t watch NASCAR you can’t watch it either so watch the US Gran Prix instead. But don’t watch the Cowboys. Just don’t. You can switch over to the AAA Texas 500 after Lewis and Nico and someone else dress up in vaguely disturbing cowboy hats and spill and pour champagne all over each other.

Do that, then switch to NASCAR and watch Matt Kenseth in victory lane wearing a REAL cowboy hat and shooting guns in the air just like Woody from TOY STORY.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *