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Get Ready To Clench!!

jeff GorDon v Bad Brad3

jeff GorDon v Bad Brad 2

jeff GorDon v Bad Brad 1Jeff Gordon and Bad Brad duke it out in Texas (pics not related)


Well imagine MY surprise when I found out that Bad Brad was involved in yet another fight after a sporty little NASCAR race at the Texas Motor Speedway. Who saw THAT coming??!!

No, to be honest I was not surprised. But his opponent in this cage match of death did raise a Carlo Ancelotti-esque eyebrow. None other Jeff Gor-Don stepped up to the plate to continue the job Matt Kenseth started the week before. This time, there was more blood, more fat-lips and more damage. Also, there was SWEARING!!!

For those of you in England where swearing is against the law, Jeff Gordon called Brad Kesolowski a wanker AND a tosser!!

Once again, the crews got in on the argy-bargy. And when NASCAR threw down the pelanties, it was the crew chiefs and the crews who got the brunt of it. Jeff Gordon’s crew was fined a total of $185,000 ((or £117,000 for you lads on the red side of Manchester who are so starved for some real football that you might just give the Dallas Cowboys v Jacksonville Jag(offs)uars a go down at Wembley on Sunday after taking the piss from Palace on Saturday—-do that, please do. We need some NFL hooligans in England. But a fair warning: You’ll have to root for the Jags since Sergio-kun is a big Dallas Cowboys fan)). Owner Rick Hendrick said he’ll pick up the tab on those fines. He should send send a bill to Roger Penske.

Meanwhile, speaking of Sergio-kun….



citehQueens Park Rangers 2      Manchester City 2


As I suggested as a probability, Sergio-kun won the aforementioned Manchester Derby last Sunday with a goal at the 63rd minute. But that was merely a brief respite from the turmoils surrounding City at the moment. They’ve regressed from last season are once again a mere collection of talented players who are no more adept at playing as a team as they were under Roberto Mancini. Manuel Pelligrini as his work cut out for him.

City has been terrible, shamefully terrible in the Champions League. They were drubbed by, of all the facking teams, CSKA Moscow….the team with shameful racist fans who have to play their home matches behind closed doors. CSKA Moscow sucks as a team but City has made them look like world-beaters. They drew City at home 2-2, and then came to the Etihad on Wednesday and beat City 1-2 in what was a sorry display of football on City’s part.  City is currently on 2 points in their group with 2 games with Roma and Bayern München left to play. They’ll not get out of their group, and most likely won’t make the cut for the Europa League, either.

Today’s tilt, which I made a studious point to not watch, was evidently more of the same mediocre play against a mediocre team. And yes, this match was all Sergio-kun again. He salvaged a point for City with a 83rd minute equalizer. His 32nd minute equalizer was nullified by a Demichaelis own goal on 76 minutes.



DONUTS!!!Do-do-do-do Donuts!! LET’S GO!!!


I won’t go so far as to say that Chelsea and Liverpool played a match for the ages this morning up at Anfield. But I will say it was pretty damn good. It was a high paced, hard-fought physical game that referee Anthony Taylor kept under control with fair officiating.

Emre Can opened the scoring for Liverpool on an 9th minute goal, his first in the Premier League. Gary Cahill equalized off a corner at the 14th. And Diego Costa slammed home the winner in the 2nd half. Chelsea played a solid, disciplined game for all 90 minutes. Liverpool gave it their best…but against Chelsea, giving your best is just not enough this season when Chelsea are on their game, which they were today.

When Chelsea play as well as they did today, I don’t have much to complain about. I’m not sure why I don’t write 3,000+ words in praise of their accomplishments when they do well, but I suppose you’re glad that I don’t.

I will however single out Nemanja Matic as Chelsea’s Man of The Match. He is without a doubt the most valuable player on the team.

GIVE that man a DONUT!!




railgunFC2Burnley 1      Hull City 0  


To be honest, I should have figured this would happen today. Burnley beating Hull to get their first Premier League win of the season. It was bound to happen eventually. Correct me if I’m wrong, pedants, but I don’t think any Premier League team has gone unvictorious through a season. So it was coming. And today was the day up at Turf Moor as Ashley Barnes turned a Kieran Trippier pass into the back of the net.

I’m happy for Burnley. It probably won’t stop the relegation train. But I’m happy for them.

And I might have been as happy as a little myself as well.

Except for one small detail.

I didn’t start Kieren Trippier in my English Premier League Fantasy Football team this week!! Instead, I left him on the bench and kept Hull City midfielder Mohammed Diame my starting lineup. So here I am at the moment with Kieren Trippier on 12 fantasy points while Diame stinks up my team with a mere 2 fantasy points. Yaaaarrrrrr!! Whatta chumplin I am!! I deserve to lose my head to head matchup this week based on this move alone. Now I have to hope both Steven Taylor of Newcastle and Everton’s Leighton Baines pull through for me tomorrow.

But even if they do, it still doesn’t change the fact that Kieran Trippier is sitting on my freaking bench on 12 points that I cannot access or use!!

I’m just about ready to clench!!



do do DONUTS!!Someone will clench tomorrow in Phoenix, and very likely someone will be ready to clench.


Be ye ready to clench. A statement right out of classic American literature. That is, if you wish to call it classic, or even literature. Mark Twain obviously doesn’t.

As for me, if the glove fits the fist, then clench it.

The potential for trouble exists right out of the gate as Denny Hamlin will lead the charge followed by Bad Brad, Kevin Harvick, Joey Logano, and Matt Kenseth.

4 of the 8 contenders will be eliminated tomorrow at Phoenix. And given the last two races, and the tighter, flatter track at Phoenix, I expect that there will more argy-bargy when the checkered flag falls upon the doomed and victorious alike.

Contrast this with the Brazilian Gran Prix where the checkered flag will drop and then Nico and Lewis who have now become best pals and buddies from hell and all that, will sportingly entertain the third place driver on the podium with a shower of champagne while they comport themselves as gentlemen.

Believe it!!

Meanwhile, at Phoenix, after the 23rd attempt at a Green-White-Checkers finish ends in disaster, the remaining contenders will be frog-marched up into hills surrounding the Phoenix International Raceway to bite the heads off of rattlesnakes.




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