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Spoiler Warning

The Gundam always wins!

It’s not like I’m going to tell you what happens in some current, new anime show that I happen to be watching at the moment that most of you who will be reading this will never be watching at ANY moment. I could regale you with my latest take on everything that happens in episode 11 of So-Ra-No-Wo-To, or episode 1 of Gundam Unicorn, and it won’t significantly spoil yer day. Even though you should, you probably wont be watching these shows anytime soon.  Also, since I’m writing this on Saturday, by the time most of you even get around to reading this, tomorrow’s race at Martinsville will be in the books, along with the name of the winner, and the post-mortem analysis of the new spoiler will raging in earnest. As for tomorrow’s Goody’s Fast Pain Relief 500 at Martinsville, I’m jumping on the Jeff Burton bandwagon. There’s my spoiler for ya. Jeff Burton wins at Martinsville.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see the spoiler in action the next time the lads race at Bristol. Bristol with the COT and the wing as become a more tedious and miniature version of Talladega with less wreckage and mayhem than in the past. Not at all the 43 rabid chihuahuas in a teapot that it used to be. The race last Sunday was set to come down to the wire, but…the evil machinations of Chad Knaus spoiled the day for for everyone as he called for 4 tires when Matt and Kurt and the rest of the leaders took 2. That was the call that won Jimmie Johnson his 50th race and his first at Bristol. On the final restart he cruised by the field and left Smoke, Kurt, The Biff and Matt in his dust. Damn, now THAT spoiled it for me, yes? I got cheated out of a shot of Crown Royal and a bottle of Miller Lite ((and a damn fine pilsner it is.))

But speaking of spoiling someones day….


Darth Vader was really Luke’s father!!!

Chelsea 7 Aston Villa 1. Now that certainly spoiled the day for the Villans and their fans. Down goes the Villans’ undefeated streak in 2010 in the Premier League. I figured that after piddling performances against Inter in the Champions league and a draw with Blackburn that my Blues would have to get a red ass if they want to win the Premier League. It seems like they have. But 7-1? Wow! I mean Aston Villa is a very stingy defensive team, even on the road. So 7 goals against them is nothing short of remarkable. Frank Lampard notched 4 of those, Florent Malouda notched 2, and Simon Kalou knocked one home at the 82 minute mark. I think the Villans are glad Ancelotti kept Drogba on the bench for this one or the score could have been much worse.

So much for the focking beauty of the game.  ((Actually, I think it’s beautiful when teams play balls out like they do in the Premiere League.))

But the biggest spoiler is yet to come.


When Dorothy wakes up back in Kansas, it was all just a dream…!

Either THIS guy will spoil the dreams of Chelsea, or, Lampard, Drogba, Cecj and company will spoils his dreams. One of those things will happen on Saturday, April 3rd, at Old Trafford in the hardscrabble ((heh)) city of Manchester. That much I know for sure. Consider this your spoiler warning. One of those two things will happen.

This will NOT end in a draw.  Man U has a 1 point advantage on Chelsea at the top the table. Nothing short of victory even matters. Fock the beauty and artistry of the game….Fock the snooty French and the self-important Brazilians, Italians and Spaniards. Fock the Portuguese! There will be red and blue blood all over Old Trafford when all is said and done.


Don’t worry. Perry Mason will win the case!

Okay. let’s recap all this.

The spoilers will make their debut at Martinsville tomorrow. It will be a more aesthetically pleasing race to watch. The spoilers wont have much of an impact at Martinsville. I’m staying on the Jeff Burton bandwagon this on one. Until I decide to jump off.

Didier Drogba will smack the game winning goal for Chelsea next Saturday off of Edwin Van der Sar’s left nostril. Unless, of course,  Wayne Rooney strikes home a rebound off of John Terry’s nutsack. We know one of those things WILL happen.

Remember Sebastian Vettel? Yep. He put his Renault on the pole again for the Australian Gran Prix that tees off in 42 minutes as I write this. But I wont spoil it for if you’re going to TIVO it and watch it over breakfast. Ah fock it. He won’t win again. Fernando Alonso and Jensen Button will duke it out with Button taking the top spot on the podium.

And finally, for those of you just starting to watch Sailor Moon, don’t worry. Queen Beryl gets killed eventually, by Sailor Venus.


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