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Cardboard Football

cardboard1Ireland 4     USA! USA!! USA!!! 1


Jürgen Klinsmann had an amazing scheme Tuesday for team USA vs Ireland. It worked to perfection.

Instead of trotting out an actual team, he set-up cardboard cutouts of Team USA and set them around the pitch at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin like they were training cones, and gave the lads the day off.

This bewildered Martin O’Neill’s Green Army ((who were wearing white, btw)) at first. But Anthony Pilkington finally figured it out at the 7 minute and took on cardboard cutout Matt Besler and cardboard cutout Alfredo Morales and dinked one over cardboard cutout goalie Bill Hamid into the back o’ the net for 1-0 lead.

To be sporting, the Irish allowed cardboard cutout Mix Diskerud to tip into the net on 39 minutes making it 1-1 at halftime.

Klinsmann set up his cardboard cutouts for the 2nd half. But Ireland’s Robbie Brady was having none of the cardboard sportsmanship that friendlies often incorporate. Instead, he put in a World Cup worthy performance and slam-dunked a brace into the back o’ the net while James McClean joined the scoring frenzy in between Robbie’s brace.

This was the second cardboard cutout football prank pulled this week. But unlike Arsene Wenger shaking hands with cardboard cutout Jose Mourinho, Ireland emerged winners.

As for Team USA, this match never happened.

Nothing to see here. Move along.



cardboard2Kevin Harvick wears the firesuit in this family


If I was a Kevin Harvick fan, I would probably be writing one of my patented 2,597 word posts about him winning the 2014 NASCAR Sprint Cup Championship this past Sunday at Homestead. But since I’m not, I won’t…and most likely wouldn’t anyway.

But I must tip my hat to him and congratulate him on a well-deserved win. Bully for him. He won the Championship in NASCAR newly-configured Chase in the best way possible. By winning the final two races with style. It’s a great capstone to a 14 year career in NASCAR’s top series. And while I haven’t always liked him all that much and I don’t root for him all that much, I have quite a bit of respect for him and the way he went about his business this season, his first for Stewart-Haas.

Stepping out of the shadow of the Ghost of Dale Earnhardt must have been a load off his mind and soul. Remember, when Earnhardt died at Daytona, it was Harvick that stepped into that iconic #3 Chevrolet and stalwartly piloted it until last season. The fact that it was changed to #29 could never erase the fact that was Dale Earnhardt’s car.

So this year was a new start and a new beginning for Kevin Harvick. And while I would have preferred that Denny Hamlin or Ryan Newman had won it all, I’m pleased with Harvick’s win and how he accomplished it.

It was well-deserved, and I congratulate him, and so should you.





england v scotland idolmaster cinderella girlsScotland 1      England 3


ROONEY blah blah blah. Scored a brace blah blah blah.

England!! The Three Lions!!!

LOOK at them. They were FEROCIOUS!!

Roy H0dgson has them winning Euro 2016 already. No need to play the matches. Just hand England the trophy NOW and save all that time and chaos blah blah blah.

Oh wait….this was just a friendly. Never mind then. Belay those thoughts.



cardboard3Belarus 3     Mexico 2


While not quite in the cardboard cutout vein, I should mention that Belarus ((which mean Fake Russia in real Mexican Spanish)) defeated Mexico in a friendly in the grim Eastern European shitehole of Borisov, Belarus.

Actually, Belarus defeated Raul Jimenez 3-2 since his other 10 mates didn’t do much of fuck all.

So there.

Nothing more to say about this.

Thank you for today.


tits at talledega


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