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Apples Of The Revolution

polish victory lap

We can pretend for a moment that I have just addressed you as Evil Ones.…and then proceed to careen onward through the chaos of the English Language to deliver you the ofttimes poignant and bewildering revelations of the NASCAR and Anime and sometimes, the music and political world, DIRECTLY into your e-mail box. Yes, YOU may already be a winner! Instead, I will race this semioticly disguised schematic that the English language has become around this little track and if I take the checkered flag at the end, you know I will turn right around and race the opposite direction around the track….a Polish Victory Lap if you will….in homage of the Late Great Alan Kulwicki and the recently retired Rusty Wallace.

The original Polish Victory Lap at Phoenix Int. Raceway, Nov. 6, 1988


Rusty Wallace carried on the tradition, as does his successor in the #2 Miller Lite car, Kurt Busch.


So does old man Mark Martin who did a Polish Victory lap after winning the German Gran Prix.  He thrilled and bewildered the Germans when he grabbed the flag and wheeled his car around and made a complete circuit of the  Nürburgring in the opposite direction. Jeff Gordon and Kasey Kahne then joined Mark Martin on the podium for a celebratory toast of Budweiser, Pepsi, and all the Cheez-It they could eat.

It’s a pity though that Mark Webber….

Webber Wins Chicagoland

It’s a pity though that Mark Webber didn’t celebrate his victory in the 400 at Chicagoland with a Polish Victory lap. Instead, he went straight to Victory Lane and proceeded to pour Champagne and Red Bull up his right nostril.

Sebastian Vettel & Felippe Massa

And since there is no podium at the Chicagoland Speedway, Sebastian Vettel and Felippe Massa weren’t quite sure what to do.

Over in Toronto,  the IRL/CART gang raced through the streets of Canada with seemingly reckless abandon. Dario took the lead and was joined on the podium by Ryan Briscoe and Will Power who crossed the finish line behind Dario with six-guns a-blazing.  Danica finished 6th in her quest to save NASCAR. As for Paul Tracy….

paul tracy whines again

Paul Tracy always finds something to whine about. His crew chief warned him to keep his cool on the track, but nope…around lap 65 he runs over Helio and they go dancing into the wall together.


“I’m going to save NASCAR, now don’t you forget!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

And here is where I would normal say Respectfully submitted, Evil Schmitty and then sign off, sometimes with some post-scripted nebulous and enigmatic NASCAR/Anime obscurity.

But not tonight.

Tonight we have a visitor.

Apples Of The Revolution

Nobody marches on Mifflin Street anymore
At least, not like they did in the old days
When blood and death and haiku were the flags

The glory days of symbolism
The sweet enigma of an extinct flower
The subtle gesture of the Empress as the photograph is snapped

All that remains is penicillin and utopisms
The cure of the gargantuan moment, no more,
Except for the surly drip of sulphuric acid
And a yearning for The Glory Days of The Co-op Movement
All those beans and apocalyptic vegetables

But pretense is everything, I suppose
And nobody, except for a few true flags,
Marches on Mifflin Street anymore.

—Michael Parker Smith

police chief breyer is a fascist
milwaukee WI

This is for my friend Stan Erickson, and all he ever stood for!

And now I can say it.

Respectfully submitted,

Evil Schmitty


3 thoughts on “Apples Of The Revolution

  1. "But pretense is everything, I suppose

    And nobody, except for a few true flags,

    Marches on Mifflin Street anymore."

    Mike, that must have been a type-o, because, the only thing that is not queer in that "poem" is "f(l)ags".

    And, what is up with this…

    "So no more IMAGE INTENSIVE email."

    We very-much enjoy your emials!

    Take Care,

    Steve & Holly

  2. I'm quite sure I will still be sending out emails…. but they will be teasers linking to the full text/image versions, which will be here.

    And no…it was not a type-o. Also, you did not note that I did not refer to Jeff Gordon, as That Homo Jeff Gordon. You're slippin' in yer old age, my man. *lol*

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