I just flew in from Pocono and boy are my arms tired. It was a hell of a week I’m here to tell you. If I ever had to live my life over again, I’d do it overseas I swear to God. And speaking of God, he sneezed the other day and I didn’t know what to say. But I guess it wasn’t all bad this week though….enroute from Pocono I stopped off in Milwaukee and did a good deed. I helped this Polish gentleman from Cudahy who locked his keys in his Buick…it took us about an hour, but we got his wife out just fine, no worse for wear. So a good deed done. Scout’s honour.
Alright alright…Pocono…the Gilette Fusion Pro-Glide 500 at the famed, triangle shaped superspeedway at Long Pond. And Mr. Pocono himself, Denny Hamlin won. He pretty much owns the joint and if my mother-in-law wasn’t so mad at me over squandering her money on the last race, I DEFINITELY would have put ALL of her money on Mr. Hamlin to win. And he did. And my mother-in-law would have been so proud. But…alas, I have no more of her money to invest in the sporting life.
But the beauty of the race was in it’s aftermath. And no, not the burnouts and the victory lane celebration. Nope. The beauty was on pit row after the race when young Joey Logano came steaming up in #20 Home Depot Toyota to That Lout Kevin Harvick’s #29 Shell/Pennzoil Chevrolet to have a few words with the lout. Words like: “Que le fait de baiser est votre problème baisant, l’imbécile ?!! Words like: “Mi a fasz van a kibaszott probléma, seggfej?!” Words like: “Bu da ne lanet sorun olduğunu, pislik?!” Words like: “Was das Bumsen Ihr Scheißproblem, Arschloch ist?!!” Words like: “Kas fuck ir jūsu jāšanās problēma, asshole?!” Words like……okay, you get the idea. Joey was completely justified in his attempt to have spirited chat with Harvick….although said chat was thwarted by older, larger and more brutal men. After a few words like: “Beth oedd y meddwl fucking asshole dwp?!” and: “Apa itu berfikir bodoh sialan brengsek?!” and a little faux bitch-slapping, Logano was led away to his hauler by a few cooler heads in his crew.
What made Logano so pig-biting mad was this. Harvick bumped Logano out of the way on lap 200….sending Logano in the wall and screwing up a potential top 5 finish. It was unnecessary on Harvick’s part since Pocono is a wide track with lots of room. But Harvick chose to do some thing stupid and unnecessary. Logano was able to recover somewhat, to finish 13th, but the damage was done. And Logano was more than justified in going after Harvick. I really hoped they would have been allowed to actually fight, even though Harvick would probably have kicked Logano’s ass. But that was not to be be.
Logano, however, won the war of words. With THIS gem: “It’s probably not Kevin’s fault. He does what he’s told. His wife wears the firesuit in the family.” *ba-ding!!* That was a wonderful remark. Very clever considering the heat of the moment. Props to the kid for that one.
But somehow, that bewildered DeLana Harvick at first. The firesuit remark. Yes, she wears a firesuit at the track, unlike most of the NASCAR WAGs. But Joey was not commenting on her firesuit. He was saying that DeLana wears the pants in the Harvick family. And he said it in a clever and funny way.
But eventually, the lighbulb finally clicked on. And DeLana had some t-shirts printed up with I WEAR THE FIRESUIT IN THIS FAMILY. And now all is well, sort of, but….Kevin Harvick still wants to get in the last word.
Kevin Harvick: “Take my wife….please!
DeLana Harvick: “Oh Kevin, don’t be such a silly! You KNOW I wear the firesuit in THIS family.