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Welcome To JimmieJohnsonLand!!!


It is inevitable, inexorable. It’s not even going to be close. Jimmie Johnson will take it all, including the cake and the frosting. There is almost no real point in watching NASCAR anymore this season since we already know who is going to win. All else is hopeless and hapless and nearly as balls-on thrilling as last Sunday’s 6-3 Cleveland vs. Buffalo beatdown by the shores of Lake Erie.

Now ofcourse, Junior Nation will keep somewhat tuned in for any heroic adventures their intrepid hero might encounter, such as a top 15 finish. And yeh yeh yeh, I’ll be rooting for Kenseth to win out and all that as a fuck you toNASCAR for the Chase. But really now, NASCAR will be in a real ratings slump if this goes on.

This has become the most boring Chase of all time.

And since tonight’s race is at Lowe’s Motor Speedway, short of making Jimmie Johnson race in reverse on flat tires, who do YOU think is going to win tonight’s NASCAR Banking 500 only from Bank of America at Charlotte? Ne?

But…that’s not all…



That NASCAR Hall of Fame? The one that Dale Earnhardt, Richard Petty, and Junior Johnson (along with Bill France Sr & Jr) just got elected to? Well…THAT’s now going to be called JimmieJohnsonLand. In fact. Jimmie Johnson will be installed as an HoF member along with Chad Knaus before the green flag drops on tonight’s race. They will make it in ahead of David Pearson, Tim Flock, Joe Weatherly, Bobby Allison, Cale Yarbrough, Fireball Roberts. There will be an enormous roller coaster inside JimmieJohnsonLand that will take folks through all the exhibits, and each car with have the #48 on the side.  Fun and educational for the entire family! Maybe we can all chip in and buy Jeff Gordon and his family a set of tickets.



At this rate, not even Danica Patrick could save NASCAR.

Now, there HAS been a lot more chatter about her lately, despite her having re-signed with Andretti Green for 2010. Junior wants her to run his car in Nationwide. And, honest, I’m not making this up, Michael Waltrip has offered her a Sprint Cup ride on his rickety hayride to hell. Yes, Michael Freakin’ Waltrip. I’m NOT making that up!



Meanwhile, Monsieurs Montoya, Martin, Stewart & Gordon fervently hope and wish that this will be the case. But I’m afraid that through the continued evil mechanations of Chad Knaus, that the damned ability of Jimmie Johnson will run away with it all. I don’t think that there is any good witch to come flying in on a broomstick and save what is left of the Chase.

Maybe I will think differently after tonight’s race. But most likely not. I’m about ready to start my Daytona 500 2010 countdown clock and call it a season.

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