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The Cutrer

Apres le 23-10 defeat by the Green Bay Packers, Bears QB Jay Cutler extols upon the virtues of Chardonnay and Foie Gras.


Jay Cutler and Eric Clapton share one thing in common. The Japanese pronounce their names wrong…a more apropos happenstance in Jay’s case.

This post was meant to be about upsets, and I’m going to get to a couple. But I’m taking this one from the perspective of Bears QB Jay Cutler…who boldly predicted pre-game, by implication, that the Packers would have a tough time defending his passing attack. He wished the Packer’s secondary Good Luck. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so generous with his words.

Now no one in their right mind, even die-hard Bears fans in their right mind, expected the Bears to win against Green Bay at Lambeau Field, despite the Pack coming off an opening day 30-22  home loss to San Fran. But the expectation was that the match would be tight and hard-fought. As it turned out, the game was nowhere near as close as the scoreboard would indicate. And as the Packer’s defense kept pummeling Cutler again and again, his true demeanor ((at least the one most pundits and fans like to make sport of)) reared its effete, silk-stockinged little head to demand, not Gatorade, but Chardonnay. Chardonnay and Foie Gras….have some ready for me in the locker room at half-time. With Croissants. And Madeleines!!

To no avail, of course.



Chicago Ourse QB Jay Cutler transférait aux Stade Rennais FC??

Another funny linguistic coincidence is how the French word for she-bear (slant)rhymes with arse.

As I was  watching the Packers tear the (She)Bears to shreds, I remarked to my pals at O’Keefe’s House of Hamburg that Cutler and his demeanor would fit in more in the REAL Football world….that would be Soccer for those of you keeping score at Gordie’s Bar ((The very same Gordie’s Bar at which I watched the Daytona 500 where Dale Earnhardt was killed)) in nearby St. Francis WI. Yes…I could see Cutler fitting right in in Ligue 1 in France….or maybe even the Jupiler Pro League in Belgium,  possibly Serie A in Italy. Portugal is out, since they already have Cristiano Ronaldo, and one primadonna is more than enough for THAT small country. Maybe the Eredivisie in the Netherlands would be a place were Cutler could pout as well?

There’s a demeanor about Cutler that screams Europe ((and losing the Europa League)) for some reason. Maybe it’s his cheery disposition and his unfailing ability to whine. Really, now. It would be perfect. Cutler could flop and take penalties…shrieking like a little girl as though Clay Matthews had dropped him like a wounded rhino….only instead of a REAL focking NFL type of hit, it’s just a marginally cynical two-footed tackled from Christophe Jallet….not taking anything away from Jallet, but nowhere NEAR the the same as a those hits from Clay he took Thursday night.

And I hope 1 or 2 of you apes noticed the slant-rhyme in the previous sentence. If you didn’t, get Jay Cutler to explain it to you.  Does orange really rhyme with door-hinge? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Well…enough of the insect burning that this bloog was originally based on. Let’s talk upsets.



Stoke City 1     Manchester City 1
Queens Park Rangers 0     Chelsea 0
Norwich City 0     West Ham United 0
Notre Dame 20      Michigan State 3

In some cases a 0-0 draw counts as an upset….so does the 1-1 draw Man City carved out up at The Brittania, where no one wants to play, especially on a Tuesday night when it’s raining. But a 1-1 draw, even though it was at The Brittania, still counts as minor upset of sorts, although if I were a City fan, and I’m not, I’d take the point to the bank and move along….nothing to see here. Carlos Tevez will still save Christmas and no one from Stoke ever will, except perhaps for Ryan Shawcross. But it’s still an upset of sorts.

If Norwich City doesn’t win AT THE DEATH at Carrow Road, against the West Hams of the Sporting World, then it’s an upset, no questions asked. This one should have gained my Canaries all 3 points. The match was played at a thrilling pace, and for all that effort, someone should have found the net. Grant Holt was pulled for young Harry Kane at the 71st minute mark. That kid looks like he’ll be a good one…lot of pace and good eye for the ball and where to place. He came so close to winning it for the Canaries. Well….we’ll have to knick some points from the elite teams, with matches with Newcastle, Arsenal & Chelsea coming up. The astute readers in Ridgeway, Wisconsin will note that I did not include Liverpool (Sept 29th at Carrow Road) among the elite teams. So…On The Ball, City!!

The focking Anton Ferdinand/John Terry handshake argy-bargy aside, today’s QPR/Chelsea tilt was one that I’d just as soon forget. But I can’t and won’t. We did not play like an elite team. We were not sharp, crisp and determined in our passing. We had no real pace until later in the second half when RDM subbed in Victor Moses (who should have started instead of Ryan Bertrand) and Danny Sturridge (who should have started instead of Ramires, maybe). QPR made a sporty attempt to punch above their weight, and fair play to them, they got some hits in. All in all, we should have blown into Loftus Road, taken all 3 points, and left Anton Ferdinand’s head on a stick inside the area (metaphorically speaking, of course) and an endless cassette tape of The Kinks “Stop Your Sobbing” resounding through the empty stadium. But not this day. Next up, Stoke, Arsenal and Norwich. Plus the opening Champions League tilt with Juventus. Yikes!! A game like today, it’s hard to judge where we really are as a team, besides top of the table. But will it last?

Finally, the UPSET of the Decade so far. Notre Dame completely demolishes Michigan State 20-3. No Touchdown Jesus here, just tough Irish defense.



1 thought on “The Cutrer

  1. I want to apologize the fine vintners at Sonoma-Cutrer Vineyards in Windsor CA for any seemingly implied negative associations of their products in this article. Their wines stand in sharp contrast and counter-point to the general demeanor and performance of Jay Cutler in last Thursday night's Bears/Packers derby.

    Regarding upsets, I published my article before the 2nd biggest upset of the day became final on the West Coast. Standford upended USC by a score of 21-14. While not as big upset as Notre Dame toppling the Spartans at home, Standford tipping over the Trojans in their own house has national title implications. So I note this here for the sake of completeness.

    And before someone mentions it, YES, the Badgers come-from-behind 16-14 win over Utah State at Camp Randall counts as an upset even though they won. Utah Freakin' STATE!! My word!! I can't even begin to describe how UTTER SHITE my Badgers have looked so far this season!

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