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So Pretty and Beautiful…


The 2009 Sprint Cup season is finally over.

Last Sunday at Homestead/Miami Speedway, history was made and despite all my season-long protestations to the contrary, I was on hand to watch it being made, albeit via television at my local brewpub, The Grumpy Troll.  The fact that Denny Hamlin won the race in dominating fashion, leading 71 laps, including the one that counted…the fact that Denny Hamlin had a pretty darn good 2009 season winning 4 races and finishing 5th in the points…was overshadowed of course by the damned ability of the guy who finished 5th in the race, Jimmie Johnson.

What you saw Sunday night as Denny Hamlin took the checkered flag, was history being made. History that will most likely never repeat itself again. Jimmie Johnson joined a very special group of drivers by winning his 4th NASCAR championship, but what set it about from the championships of those who came before him (Richard Petty &  Dale Earnhardt won 7 each; Jeff Gordon & Ron Hornaday Jr. have won 4 each). NONE of those drivers ever won 4 in a row. It’s remarkable accomplishment, and Jimmie Johnson is to be lauded and congratulated. But…



That’s just it.  But… I have to put that in there. I can’t quite embrace the greatness of Jimmie Johnson the way I should. Since 2002 he’s been a dynasty unlike any other in motorsports. Or in just about any sports. Baseball hasn’t had a 4-peat since the 1953 New York Yankees did it (and the 1939 Yanks did a 5-peat before them). Hockey hasn’t seen one since the 1983 New York Islanders. In tennis, only Don Budge in 1938 and Rod Laver in 1962 & 1968 have done a Grand Slam is a single season. And in golf, not even Tiger Woods has done it in a single season (his slam of 4 in row was over two seasons). And just at the moment we should be applauding Jimmie Johnson and singing his praises to the heavens, the only thing I can honestly think of to say is ENOUGH ALREADY!!  It’s a shame really that greatness can do this.

The main problem with greatness is that after awhile everyone, except the truly die-hard fan, tend to get sick of it. It’s fun for awhile, but then it gets tired and old. Unless you were a die-hard Patriots fan, you  loved it when the New York Giants beat the undefeated New England Patriots in Super Bowl 42.

But don’t get me wrong, we love our dynasties. We prefer greatness over mediocrity.  After all, I grew up during the glory years of the Green Bay Packers in the 60’s and was also a big fan of the Boston Celtics, who won 8 championships in a row from 1959 through 1966. But even during their glory years, the Packers could never muster more than 3 in a row. The next NFL dynasty, the great Steelers teams of the 70’s, while winning 4 Super Bowls, could never muster more than 2 in row.

So yes, Jimmie Johnson’s 4th NASCAR Championship in a row is all so pretty and beautiful, BUT….


fondle 1

fondle 2

fondle 3

The shame of it is is this little sequence from the opening of Setokai No Ichizon pretty sums up the lackadaisical enthusiam there’s been for NASCAR this season once it was beyond a shadow of doubt that Jimmie Johnson was going to win it all.And my biggest fear is that next year will be more of the same. I hope not. If anyone DARES to mutter the words Drive For Five, it better not come from the Jimmie Johnson camp. The ONLY driver in NASCAR right now who should utter those words is Jeff Gordon.


fondle 4

fondle 5

fondle 6

Anyway…Ken’s attempt to fondle Chizuru falls short of the mark since he can’t muster enough energy to reach across the table. And that’s sort of my little amusing metaphor I present to y’all for the 2009 NASCAR Sprint Cup season.

Now in the anime, the sequence is funny as hell on several levels since Ken is the only guy on his High School’s Student Council where he serves as Vice-President. Ken makes no bones about wanting to Student Council to be his personal harem. As as is typical in harem comedies, it’s all funny and ha ha. And especially in the case of Ken fondling Chizuru, because if lethargy hadn’t been ruling the day,  Chizuru would have hand-cuffed and shackled Ken and stuffed him into a locker. Again.

Maybe it’s this same lethargy that will have me rooting for THAT HOMO JEFF GORDON!

Sure,  just a little.

Yes!! Drive for 5 BABY!! Get me another case of that FINE CHARDONNAY!!



wear your panties

And so, another racing season has passed in this way. I’ve got the Daytona 500 Countdown Clock started. Silly Season madness is just around the corner. More mayhem could erupt from the Jeremy Mayfield camp at any moment. NASCAR will have their banquet/parade in Las Vegas this year, and you know how much I love parades: I Hate Them. Maybe Danica Patrick WILL be saving NASCAR after all….the go.daddy website sez there’s a big announcement on Monday Nov 30th. In any case, Kyle Busch is still a stuffed animal and not a terrifying true vampire as was previously rumoured.

So that’s about it for 2009. Don’t forgot to wear your panties everyday and get those Countdown Clocks set to February 14th 2010 1:00PM CDT

Someday we will all look back on 2009 and Jimmie Johnson’s remarkable season and appreciate how pretty and beautiful it all was.

But this is not the day.


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