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joey barton

Marseille! Ici je viendrai!!

The English Premier League teed off yesterday, so football is back! Screw the friendlies, the Olympics and the NFL!! Now this doesn’t mean that Silly Season is over with. The transfer window is still open, and with that in mind, the BEST silly season rumour out there is Joey Barton going to Olympic Marseille on a season-long loan! I really want this to happen. Marseille would be perfect for Joey! Perfect!! Fock Neitzsche and Kierkegaard and all that….all he needs to do is brush up on his Camus. Joey Barton is (or can be), without a doubt, the perfect Albert Camus of the EPL or Ligue 1 or any other League you’d care to name with the possible exception of the NFL.

Please Sparky!! S’il vous plaît Elie Baup!! MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!! The benign indifference of the Universe REQUIRES this!! Get this done NOW!!

As Joey Barton would say, “It is not rebellion which is noble, but the demands it makes on us.”

Meanwhile, in their Premier League opener the Bartonless Queens Park Rangers went down to a 5-0 defeat at the hands of Swansea.

And speaking of 5-0 defeats….



Fulham 5     Norwich City 0

The Green and Gold did not fare so well in West London this Saturday. In fact, my Canaries looked butt-focking awful!! Any number of League 2 sides could have ripped them apart the way Fulham ripped them apart. Pitiful defending, horrible mid-field play, Grant Holt left out to dry. It was just bloody awful. I still don’t know why Wes Hoolihan didn’t get the start. It MIGHT have helped….the mid-field play stepped up a notch when he was finally introduced at the 76th minute. But to no avail.

Or as Mike McCarthy ((NEVER to be confused with Mick McCarthy)) might have said during the Packers 74-3 beatdown by the Cleveland Browns, “Whut the bloody HELL??”

Nothing else to see here. Off to Montreal we go.



Neither Danica Patrick, nor Jacques Villeneuve won the NAPA Auto Parts 200

I’ll be honest. THIS was the race I wanted to watch wire to wire this weekend. Not the Pure Michigan 400 that has already teed off at Michigan International Speedway as I tap these telegraph keys. No…the Nationwide Race yesterday was the compelling must see race of the weekend. The road course rivalry between Danica Patrick and Jacques Villeneuve was something every race fan needed to see, And neither of them disappointed….for MOST of the race that is. Jacques and Danica were dominant. Each had the lion’s share of the lead for most of the race. And Danica could very easily have won it all if not for….get this….wait for it……if not for a SHOE that some focktard tossed on to the track. A shoe that Danica, who was leading by nice margin, ran over. After that, her car was, as she phrased it over the radio LIVE on ESPN, “…(this car is) fucked up…” And she was right. The track bar was going to hell, and there was nothing to do but patch it up and finish 4 laps down. And as for Jacques, what goes around, comes around. It wasn’t Danica bumping him out the way at the end as we all hoped (unless you’re French Canadien), but race winner Justin Allgaier. Jacques was slowing down, running on fumes after a couple of green white checker attempts. And that was that! But still the must see race of the weekend. Fair play to Allgaier. Good for him.

But if I ever find that shoe-tossing wanker….



Wigan 0     Chelsea 2

Well…we’re off to good start. A cracking win at DW Stadium led by Eden Hazard. We were up 0-2 by the 7 minute mark and it was all downhill from there. Hazard was superb. Our defense held solid. And my only complaint is that after we were up 0-2, we took our foot off the gas. It’s a habit we have a tendency to fall into, and I’d like to see us curb that habit. We really need to work on our attack and better integrate Hazard and Oscar into the mix. We had a perfect opportunity today, but didn’t take it. That concerns me because we’re not going to be spotted an early 2 goal lead all that often this season. So I would have rather have seen us keep the pedal to the metal for the full 90 minutes.

We’ll have another opportunity on Wednesday when Newly-promoted Reading comes to town. We need to be merciless at the Bridge.

Final takeaway from today’s match? We got to wear our 3rd kit!! Our third kit is WAY cooler looking than our regular away kit.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Acker Bilk:



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