In about several hours or so as I first type this, the Sharpie 500 will tee off at Bristol Motor Speedway. The relatively innocuous Roushketeer, David Ragan won the Nationwide Race there last night, and I do not give him odds of a rook to get a top ten finish in today’s race. In horse-racing parlance, in tonight’s race, he will run out.
Perhaps it is only deja vu, but I keep getting this feeling that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do continuing with the green flag tonight at Bristol, Tennessee, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol this Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to Sunday morning, August 9th, and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.
“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”
And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.
Yes, our two lads, who shall remain nameless for the while, can race these next races over and over again, just as Mark Hynton and Robert August surfed the world over in The Endless Summer. In a metaphorical sense, they make summer endless….even though, unlike Hynton and August, their Summer has not been much to celebrate. At least our two lads get to postpone the inevitable shame that would fall upon them when the checkered flag drops at Richmond on September 12th. But since September will never come….
So…in a few hours from now as I type this, the gentlemen will start their engines, and we will be off to the races again and again and again. I will post this now, as time is fleeting. But we will meet this evening in Victory Lane where once again….
I also must unfortunately report that Danica Patrick WONT be saving NASCAR anytime soon.
The Sunday’s race at Watkins Glen was rained out, as expected, and was postponed until the next day. In this case, Monday, August 10th . Since I was working and was unable to watch the race, I acquired the services of an Observer who reported to me with excruciating accuracy.
Last Sunday’s race at Michigan was won, as it has been the previous 15,495 times, by the intrepid Brian Vickers as the evil mechanations of Chad Knaus and the damned ability of Jimmie Johnson went for naught once more as the #48 Lowe’s Chevrolet ran out of fuel.
And she will continue to provide me with a lap by lap recap of each race in case I’m distracted by some spurious pronouncement by the aforementioned John O’Bryan. And as I’m sure you all know, I probably might.
“Besides not qualifying for the 2,391st, the 2,392nd, the 2,393rd….David Gilliland…well..he only qualified for the 11,053rd running of the Heluva Good! at the Glen. But he did qualify in the 36th position for every running of the Carfax 400 at Michigan International Speedway. And besides qualifying 12th for the 15,496th running of the Food City 500 at Bristol, he also qualified 12th for the 3,579th and the 6,882nd running of the Food City 500.”