{"id":8289,"date":"2015-02-15T00:25:43","date_gmt":"2015-02-15T06:25:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.themagicworld.org\/bloog\/?p=8289"},"modified":"2015-02-15T12:03:27","modified_gmt":"2015-02-15T18:03:27","slug":"nascar-2015-lesbian-bear-show-growl-growl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.themagicworld.org\/bloog\/nascar-2015-lesbian-bear-show-growl-growl\/","title":{"rendered":"NASCAR 2015: The Lesbian Bear Show *growl* *growl*"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"growl2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl1\"<\/a>It’s Speedweeks!! *growl*<\/strong><\/em><\/h6>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the eve of qualifying for the pole position for the Daytona 500 as the NASCAR 2015 season is about to blot out the sun with the engines’ hallucinogenic roar, I must admit that the start of Speedweeks and the NASCAR 2015 season has crept up on me more suddenly than it would be reasonable to expect. In fact, by now, I would have had all this covered in excruciating detail I’m sure. But for some reason, this year, here I am on the Saturday it all begins, with the Sprint Unlimited teeing off tonight, and instead of writing feverishly about the NASCAR 2015 season, I am covering a brilliant new anime show that debuted this Winter Season: Yuri Kuma Arashi <\/strong><\/em>which (most) everyone has dubbed The Lesbian Bear Show<\/strong>. But I am<\/strong> keeping some sort of promise about writing more about anime. *growl*<\/p>\n

The Lesbian Bear Show is confoundingly inscrutable at times, but that’s a good thing. It has plenty of WHY the fock, and WHAT the fock is going on moments. It has formulaic tropes that don’t seem at all like formulaic tropes. And all of this is courtesy of the surrealistically brilliant and no doubt troubled mind of Kunuhiko Ikuharu who brought us the brilliant Revolutionary Girl Utena<\/a>, which remains one of my favourite all-time anime shows<\/a>. *growl* *growl*<\/p>\n

Of course, you won’t get a lot of what I’m talking about here, or in any other post for that matter, if you don’t actually watch anime, if you don’t watch soccer, or basketball, or baseball, or hockey, or NASCAR, F1, & the IRL. If you’re not familiar with the poets, philosophers, novelists, essayists, playwrights, or musicians of last 500-1500 years or more, some of the illusions and allusions contained herein will be just a bunch of words on paper ((see what I did there, Clive?<\/a>)) and nothing more. So when I say, for example, that unlike Utena, I’m not picking up as much of the obvious, Herman Hesse\/Franz Kafka\/Soren Kierkegaard vibe, it is quite likely that that vibe is not the logos that defines Yuri Kuma Arashi, or, it’s quite possible that since ,I’m only 4 or 5 episodes in, I’ll need to watch the entire series before all the crazy cuckoo cosmic references become clear. *growl*<\/p>\n

Maybe the reference to look to is in John Irving’s first novel, Setting Free The Bears<\/a>, in which lead character Graff breaks into the Vienna Zoo, and then<\/strong> guess what he does?? ((Read the book to find out!!)) There is a sense of this in the back of the mind here, since Yuri Kuma Arashi doesn’t have (so far) any male characters who are not bears….and if there can be found a way to blame stupid useless men for all of this bear turmoil that would be a funny and ironic twist of some sort of trope in an anti-harem sense, and so? Well…not bloody likely (take a drink) to be the case since the bear’s original planet, or rather a plant of bears, exploded and sent a meteor shower raining down on Earth and turned all the bears violent and vicious so a Wall of Severance was built to keep bears out of the human world. But the Wall of Severance is not stopping the bears, so maybe it’s the men’s fault anyway. *shaba daba doo*<\/p>\n

As with Binan Koukyou Chikyuu Bouei-bu Love!!<\/strong><\/em>, this will definitely be on Ron Hornaday’s top 9 Anime list at the end of the year, so you better watch it now before he and I both come pounding on your door to kick your ass. *growl*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"growl8\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl9\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl9a\"<\/a>Kurt Busch’s “Girlfiend” is waiting somewhere in Turn 3\u00a0 *growl*<\/strong><\/em><\/h6>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Sprint Unlimited ((which is a stupid sounding name since it was always was the Bud Shootout, but since Bud no longer sponsors the pole position….rave rant gasp wheeze….)) tees off tonight, as I write this, and 112 years ago, as you read this, at 7:00 PM CST on FOX with none other than Wisconsin’s very own Paul Menard on the pole. *growl*<\/p>\n

The 2nd practice for the Sprint Unlimited ((*hack spatOOey*)) is going on as I ferociously type these words to keep the bears at bay. Kurt Busch had the highest speed in the 1st practice at 200.749 mph. But Matt Kenseth had the best 10 consecutive lap average, a more important stat in my view, with an average of 195.882. On that list, Kurt dropped down to 12th fastest with an average of 193.560. Danica Patrick was 7th clocking in at 194.637 *growl* *growl*<\/p>\n

Menard did not earn the pole on merit I’m sorry to say. The starting line was determined by luck of the draw. Or lucky dip as they would say in England (take a drink). Matt tees off 16th in row 8 next to Danica in 15th. Jeff Gordon tees off for the final time in 11th. Your 2014 Champion Kevin Harvick rolls of 8th. And whoever the fan was that drew Junior’s starting position should be eaten by bears as Junior starts back in 24th ((note: there are only 25 cars in the field)). As for who will win, I’ll take the easy way out say that Junior and Matt will duke it out at the finish with Danica coming in 3rd. *sparkle*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"growl9g\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl7\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"growl6\"<\/a>Predictions for the upcoming season that are likely to be eaten by Bears.\u00a0 *growl*<\/strong><\/em><\/h6>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, I thought at the outset that I am running behind on my start of the NASCAR 2015 season post, but I checked the date of last year’s post and I’m actually 5 days ahead of last year. And with the first season the new Chase format behind us, I can look ahead to the NASCAR 2015 season with a bit less alacrity, but the same notable lack of clarity. This year, I will consult with a secret panel of European Soccer Players ((rather, soccer players that play in Europe, since some members of this panel might not actually be from Europe)) to make my predictions. We are now assembled in a secret location….okay okay fock it….we are assembled in the Broomfield Tavern<\/a> in Coventry tucked into pints of cask ale and cider. I will not reveal the members of my panel (clues might or might not be contained within the predictions) for if I did I would have to kill you. *growl*<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n