Whose Shake Is This!!?

I was almost too perfect too even expect it to happen, but it did. Dale Earnhardt Jr. drove the #3 Wrangler Chevrolet to victory in the Subway Jalapeno 250 at Daytona Friday night. It was a car that was an homage and tribute to his late father…a car his father drove to victory many times in his hallowed Hall of Fame career….a car Dale Sr. won two of his championships in. It was a car that Junior would drive for the last time, and never again. No more # 3 EVER!

So it HAD to go to victory lane. There was no way it couldn’t, and many ways it couldn’t. And remarkably, as the laps were winding down, Junior and the #3 car team found a way to win. It was a brilliant and wondrously emotional moment. It simply HAD to be. There no way that fate or god or Kyle Busch was going to keep #3 from winning the damn thing. It was a great tribute to the late Dale Earnhardt and the #3, which are 2 of the most enduring memes of NASCAR…and 2 of its most endearing memories.

Now the concept of meme has been greatly abused in this brave and terrible world of 4-chan and all that dross. But it still can be of some use other than for cheap comedy. So I got to thinking…maybe memes can be used for smart, intelligent and obscure comedy. Maybe memes or a reasonable approximation thereof can reveal a truth or two about the world that otherwise would have gone unnoticed. So I thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if I stuck the picture of Junior in Victory Lane into a meme generator of some sort.

I thought about it and decided to use the Multi-Image Service at:  http://iqdb.org/ What IQDB does is search multiple anime image databases for images that are similar to the one you enter. Usually it is used by people who have an image and don’t know the source…what anime, manga, or hentai game the image is from. Or they’re looking for some similar type of image. So I thought to myself, why not see what comes up.

So on the first go at it, the picture in the middle, above, by artist Jitsu Hidari, was one of the images that came up. Now mind you, the similarity is more metaphorical than actual. The similarities that result from using non-anime/manga images usually ranged between 27 and 42%. I was pleased with the image you see above, and amused that some of the images that came up were on the filthy side.

But then the porch-light came on and I thought….aha!!! Diego Maradona is out there!!  And THAT’s when the curtain rose and the music began to play.  The results of this little skit, a tale in 6 parts, are after the jump. All images are what IQDB came up with as being similar to the source image. Every picture is worth a thousand words or more, and some of these pictures have a LOT to say!!

“Diego…..are you nervoushh!!”

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“In the 1st running of the Goody’s Fast Pain Relief 500 at Martinsville Speedway on March 29th 2010…”

Once again, since the race was postponed because of rain, I had to hire an Observer to watch the Sprint Cup race for me. The Goody’s Fast Pain Relief 500 was postponed to Monday, and since I’m paid to sell advertising, and not paid  to be a sports writer, my Observer watched the race for me and filed this report:

“In the 1st running of the Goody’s Fast Pain Relief 500 in 2010 at Martinsville Speedway on March 29th 2010, Denny Hamlin overcame questionable mathematical odds to win a race at a track where he’s won xxx times before. His victory was secured by a 4  tyre pit stop that a sizable majority noted with alacrity. Denny Hamlin’s victory was also secured when Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth staged a repeat performance of their turmoil at Bristol in the 1st running of the xxxx at Bristol Motor Speedway on xxxx. It should be noted that unlike at xxxx, at the 1st running of the Goody’s Fast Pain Relief 500 in 2010 at Martinsville Speedway on March 29th 2010, Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth did not engage in any fighting after the race.”

The spoilers didn’t come into play too much at Martinsville. But that was to be expected. I liked how the cars looked though ((since, on my Observer’s suggestion, I watched a partial replay on the race)). It’s breath of fresh air to see cars that don’t look like glorified IROC cars. Gordon got the better of his bitch-slapping feud with Kenseth, dropping Matt to 3rd in the standings. Jeff Burton almost jumped off his own bandwagon, especially since he finished behind David Gillillilliland. But I’m still hangin’ on for dear life.

Next up is the night race at Phoenix. More on that later. And by the way, the xxxx‘s in my Observer’s report are deliberate, since she thinks this is secret information….

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That pretty much sums up the Chase after last Sunday’s Tum’s Fast Relief 500 at Martinsville. Sure, Denny Hamlin scored an impressive win. It’s a track, like Pocono, he’s supposed to win at. And he did. But…

The damned ability of Jimmie Johnson and the evil mechanations of Chad Knaus will simply not go away.  Jimmie Johnson finished second increasing his lead on Mark Martin and the rest of Chasers. Short of some sort of miracle, like a Close Encounter of the 4th Kind, this Chase is over. Finito!

Hand him the damned trophy and start the Daytona 500 countdown clock.

Meanwhile, NASCAR has to come up with some solutions to make the Chase more competitive and interesting. For both the drivers and the fans. But…

One shudders to think what kind of nonsense Brian France and Mike Helton will/can/could cook up THIS time to save the Chase, the NASCAR, their legacies…. Brrrr!! The horror!!

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Perhaps it was deja vu, but it seemed for a moment as I began typing this, that in a about an hour so, the Heluva Good at the Glen will tee of at the fabled road course at Watkins Glen. Something was clearly wrong, however. I could not put my finger on it at first….but something clearly was. And THAT was when I realized….

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In about several  hours or so as I first type this, the Sharpie 500 will tee off at Bristol Motor Speedway. The relatively innocuous Roushketeer, David Ragan won the Nationwide Race there last night, and I do not give him odds of a rook to get a top ten finish in today’s race. In horse-racing parlance, in tonight’s race, he will run out.

Perhaps it is only deja vu, but I keep getting this feeling that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do continuing with the green flag tonight at Bristol, Tennessee, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol this Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to  Sunday morning, August 9th, and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.

“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”

And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.

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In about an hour or so as I first type this, the Carfax 400 will tee off in the Irish Hills at the Michigan International Speedway. Local lad Brad Kesolowski won the Nationwide Race there yesterday, and I give him odds of a rook to get a top ten finish in today’s race. It has been a rain-shortened week.

Perhaps it is only deja vu, but I keep getting this feeling  that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do continuing with the green flag today at Brooklyn Michigan, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol on Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to last Sunday morning, August 9th, and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.

“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”

And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.

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In about an hour or so as I first type this, the Heluva Good! at the Glen will tee off on the fabled road course at Watkins Glen, New York. Australian Marcus Ambrose won the Nationwide Race there yesterday, and I have him as a heavy favourite to win today’s race.

But it has come to my attention that a sinister plot is brewing secretly behind the scenes….this sinister plot is being put into play by certain Cup teams who are in jeopardy of not making the Chase. I am not going to name names at this point, but the astute among you will know who the two lads are. What they intend to do starting with the green flag today at Watkins Glen, and ending with the Victory Lane celebrations at Bristol on Saturday night August 22nd, is reset time back to this Sunday morning and re-race at Watkins Glen, Michigan, and Bristol over and over again.

“If I can’t make the Chase, neither will anyone else, dammit!!”

And while I infer a certain sinister intent, it is very likely that none of drivers in this plot are even aware of what a strange brew their subconscious minds and desires are fermenting for us.

Read the rest of this entry »