Whose Shake Is This!!?

The more we know, the more we seem to forget. Even, and especially, if it’s the things we love the most. It seems ironic and counter-intuitive, but the more knowledge and passion we have, the more capacity we have to overlook something, be it minuscule or essential. I’m constantly forgetting the names of the main characters in the anime shows that I love…if you were to ask me right now to rattle off the names of the characters in Arakawa Under The Bridge or Angel Beats or ef-a tale of memories, I know I would miss quite a few of them. It’s the same lapse we have when we forget an essential birthday or anniversary…not that we actually forget it, but we are off by a day or two. So this week I suppose I will try to remember here, (some of) what I have forgotten over the past several weeks.

But before I forget and rush headlong into the tidal wave of more rhetoric, there is THIS:

Mexico 2   France 0

Ha Ha ha!! Take THAT ya cack-suckin’ cheatin’  fackin’ Frenchies!!  HA HA HA!!! All hail Javier Hernandez  whose goal in the 55th minute and Cuauhtemoc Blanco whose penalty kick at the 62 minute mark sent the fackin’ Frenchies packing.

¡¡Jodimos el Frenchies!! ¡¡¡¡HA HA HA!!!!

¡¡Cagomos en la leche de tu puta madre, Frenchies!! ¡¡¡¡HA HA HA!!!!

¡¡Los Africanos le joderán el culo, Frenchies!! ¡¡¡¡HA HA HA!!!!

I certainly didn’t want to forget about THAT!! And I know all of Ireland was cheering along with me. But I know I’m forgetting something….

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7601 W. Hampton Ave.   Milwaukee WI

I just flew in from Pocono and boy are my arms tired. It was a hell of a week I’m here to tell you. If I ever had to live my life over again, I’d do it overseas I swear to God. And speaking of God, he sneezed the other day and I didn’t know what to say. But I guess it wasn’t all bad this week though….enroute from Pocono I stopped off in Milwaukee and did a good deed. I helped this Polish gentleman from Cudahy who locked his keys in his Buick…it took us about an hour, but we got his wife out just fine, no worse for wear. So a good deed done. Scout’s honour.

Alright alright…Pocono…the Gilette Fusion Pro-Glide 500 at the famed, triangle shaped superspeedway at Long Pond. And Mr. Pocono himself, Denny Hamlin won. He pretty much owns the joint and if my mother-in-law wasn’t so mad at me over squandering her money on the last race, I DEFINITELY would have put ALL of her money on Mr. Hamlin to win. And he did. And my mother-in-law would have been so proud. But…alas, I have no more of her money to invest in the sporting life.

But the beauty of the race was in it’s aftermath. And no, not the burnouts and the victory lane celebration. Nope. The beauty was on pit row after the race when young Joey Logano came steaming up in #20 Home Depot Toyota to That Lout Kevin Harvick’s #29  Shell/Pennzoil Chevrolet to have a few words with the lout. Words like: “Que le fait de baiser est votre problème baisant, l’imbécile ?!! Words like: “Mi a fasz van a kibaszott probléma, seggfej?!” Words like: “Bu da ne lanet sorun olduğunu, pislik?!” Words like:  “Was das Bumsen Ihr Scheißproblem, Arschloch ist?!!” Words like: “Kas fuck ir jūsu jāšanās problēma, asshole?!”   Words like……okay, you get the idea. Joey was completely justified in his attempt to have spirited chat with Harvick….although said chat was thwarted by older, larger and more brutal men. After a few words like: “Beth oedd y meddwl fucking asshole dwp?!” and: “Apa itu berfikir bodoh sialan brengsek?!” and a little faux bitch-slapping, Logano was led away to his hauler by a few cooler heads in his crew.

What made Logano so pig-biting mad was this. Harvick bumped Logano out of the way on lap 200….sending Logano in the wall and screwing up a potential top 5 finish. It was unnecessary on Harvick’s part since Pocono is a wide track with lots of room. But Harvick chose to do some thing stupid and unnecessary. Logano was able to recover somewhat, to finish 13th, but the damage was done. And Logano was more than justified in going after Harvick. I really hoped they would have been allowed to actually fight, even though Harvick would probably have kicked Logano’s ass. But that was not to be be.

Logano, however, won the war of words. With THIS gem:  “It’s probably not Kevin’s fault. He does what he’s told. His wife wears the firesuit in the family.” *ba-ding!!*  That was a wonderful remark.  Very clever considering the heat of the moment. Props to the kid for that one.

But somehow, that bewildered DeLana Harvick at first. The firesuit remark. Yes, she wears a firesuit at the track, unlike most of the NASCAR WAGs. But Joey was not commenting on her firesuit. He was saying that DeLana wears the pants in the Harvick family. And he said it in a clever and funny way.

But eventually, the lighbulb finally clicked on. And DeLana had some t-shirts printed up with I WEAR THE FIRESUIT IN THIS FAMILY. And now all is well, sort of, but….Kevin Harvick still wants to get in the last word.

Kevin Harvick: “Take my wife….please!

DeLana Harvick: “Oh Kevin, don’t be such a silly! You KNOW I wear the firesuit in THIS family.

Michigan tomorrow. England vs. USA in few minutes. In golf,  The St. Jude Classic has teed off with Lee Westwood at the top of the leaderboard. Someone will break 70 today. That’s a lot of clubs!

DAMN the damned ability of Jimmie Johnson and the evil mechanations of Chad Knaus!!

The top of the lineup for this evening’s Subway Fresh Fit 600 from Phoenix is full of WTF?  I mean that sincerely. A.J. Allmendinger will tee it off first alongside Scott Speed. In the next row, Sam Hornish Jr and Marcus Ambrose tee off 3rd and 4th respective. I mean really…WTF??  These guys are no back markers, mind you, but really…what the shit. This is like a Final Four of all mid-majors duking it out (pun not intended). This is like a Final Four of Butler, Weber State, UTEP and Siena or something. Who the hell are these guys and what the hell are they doing here?

Well, I hope it lasts. But I have my doubts. The next 4 out are Junior, Logano, Montoya and Truex. And lurking back in 16th on the starting grid, using the same chassis ((that would be Chassis No. 540 for those of you keeping score at home)) he used to win at Phoenix last fall is Jimmie Johnson who is currently at the top the of the table 14 points up on The Biff, and 16 points up on Matt Kenseth, who would be in the lead if naught for the petulance of That Homo Jeff Gordon.

Obviously, these mid-markers will not be there at the end even though Allmendinger DID have a fast 2nd practice speed. It pains me to say this, but the odds on favourite to win this tonight is Jimmie Johnson. He holds the record for most wins at Phoenix. I hate the thought of that. The same dull tedious shite at the top of the table. I suppose fans of Sunderland and Blackburn are right sick as well of Chelsea, Arsenal and Man U always at the top of the table.

Now Junior qualified well, and the Busch boys, especially Kurt usually fare well here. Kyle won last night’s Nationwide race despite being black-flagged. Mark Martin won last spring’s race here and has 2 career wins at Phoenix. Jeff Burton does well here and I’m still on the bandwagon. So there is some measure of hope for us who would like to see the excellence of Jimmie Johnson’s damned ability cut down to size, or, rather see a different form of excellent arise from the ashes of our boredom. Will this happen? Or will our hopes be dashed again.

By the time you will most likely read this, you will already know the answer. I wonder if there is anything you don’t already know!

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Silly Season is finally over. There is a less than a day to go…23 hours and change as I begin writing this, ’til the start of the Daytona 500. And as I write some of this, Danica Patrick’s quest to save NASCAR has begun in earnest with the Drive4COPD 300 Nationwide race at Daytona. But tomorrow, the green flag drops and 43 drivers tee it off at the Daytona 500.

However, the fairways looks a bit different than last year. Over the winter, Silly Season reared it’s silly head and some big names in NASCAR have for all intents and purposes disappeared forever. Sponsors like DeWalt, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam have fled the sport. Teams have merged and remerged and re-remerged as vastly different entities. It’s really been hard even for me to get my arms around all this and get up to speed for the 2010 season.

Most of the usual suspects are still around, but some of them have found themselves in suspicious circumstances…

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